A Moment in the Woods. [JuncoxCrow]

[Glowy]

Crowflower sat enraptured, his mind's eye being bombarded with images of twoleg gardens. Giant pink flowers? Vines that wrapped around entire trees? It sounded like paradise. The one day he'd happened upon the twoleg-place, he'd only gotten cursory glances at their gardens. He wanted more. He wanted to see these flowers that could grow bigger than a cat's face, to see the trees that coexisted so peacefully with the vines that, at first glance, seemed to be trying to choke them. Of course, that was all imagined and he had no idea what those plants would actually look like, but he was sure that, in reality, it would be even better than he'd imagined. Perhaps Juncopaw would take him there some day, after she became a warrior. She'd be free, then, and could choose where she went to a certain degree. She could take him there and teach him everything about her life and the plants and how to grow them. It would be glorious. "They really had giant flowers?" he whispered, awed, and would have gone on had Juncopaw not continued to speak. Her mother had really been so disdainful of her sister's interest in plants? That wasn't alright. Everybody had a right for their decisions to be respected. There was also nothing wrong with liking plants. "It sounds like your family's really interesting," he finally said with a nod of his head. "There's not much interesting about mine. At least, not that I know of. And there's even less that's interesting about me. I was just born here. I haven't had any spectacular adventures, haven't been forced to learn any skill so that I could survive. I've just always been here. I wish I had a story to tell, like you." After a few moments, he piped up again. "What do you think happened to your aunt? Do you think she became a rogue? Wouldn't it be be funny if she'd joined the Clans?" Yep, that would be ironic, alright. Maybe adventure ran in families, eh? speaking [bg=5f8219][atrb=width,469,true] [atrb=border,0,true]

[Cloudbat]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,0,true][atrb=width,500,true]

[bg=#a6bee4] Juncopaw had been examining her pile of juniper berries - it was not large, but it was decent. And - "Oh, yes. Little ones too, regular dandelions and others, but they didn't seem to like those. The twolegs spent lots of time pulling dandelions up, but they let the other flowers stay. I don't know why." It seemed almost strange to the silver tabby that a wild-born cat would be interested in something from the lives of the kittypets they looked down upon. But then, Crowflower was different. Special in a way I can't even put into words. She blushed under her fur as he said her family was interesting. "Heh...sort of. They were more argumentative than anything. My dad, well...he left us for another she-cat. And my brothers were all given away when I was little." She said with a touch of sadness."I didn't know them well, but...you know. They were my littermates." The PineClan apprentice was surprised when the black tom said his family wasn't interesting. "Of course they are, you goof! Your mom, well...okay she's not the nicest of cats, but she went on the journey! And Otterclaw, I bet he has cool stories to tell from when he was a rogue. Plus, you're plenty interesting. You're one of the first cats born here! You know medicine and stuff and you're just...really interesting..." she trailed off, realizing she'd been too enthusiastic. Mouse-brain. "Anyway!" She said brightly, trying to gloss over her awkward pause. "You make my 'spectacular adventures' sound way more fun than they were. Also, learning to hunt and find shelter on the fly is not cool, I assure you." Juncopaw laughed bitterly. "When you're an inexperienced kittypet bumbling through a big town trying to follow a insane dream you have and abandoning free warmth and food, you feel more crazy than brave. I wish I'd been born here and didn't feel so awkward living this life, story or no." Juncopaw stopped talking, realizing she'd revealed more of her true feelings than she'd meant to. What would he think of her now? As a weakling? A half-hearted kittypet who didn't belong? Maybe it was true. "M-my aunt?" She said, startled. "I have no idea. For all I know she could be dead. I haven't thought about her in moons. When I...escaped, I always thought about my father. I...well, I was too little to understand at the time why he left us. When I grew up though, my mom, Sefri, told me about how he betrayed us. Though given the kind of she-cat she was, I can't really blame him." Juncopaw smiled, a bitter, grim smile, but a smile nontheless. "Still, I'd always wonder how he was doing, where he was. In a way I wanted to be like him, to get out. Maybe I thought I'd find him here, waiting for me. Stupid, I know." The silver tabby shook herself, trying to get rid of the ghosts of the past. It seemed to Juncopaw that most of her life before this point had gone by incredibly quickly, like she'd only been an observer instead of living it herself. It felt like it had all suddenly condensed during this conversation, where she'd grown several moons over the course of a few minutes. It was an odd feeling, yet a strangely welcome one.

[Glowy]

Ahh, yes, dandelions. The unwelcome invaders of sanctified twoleg planting grounds, the unholy thieves of all nutrients and destroyers of such carefully cultivated flowers. On one paw, Crowflower could see precisely why the twolegs wanted the yellow-petaled weeds gone, but there was a part of him that wasn't sure if he agreed. Weren't the dandelions there first? Was it right for their home to be invaded, even if the other plants were so terribly beautiful? Why couldn't they just mix? He saw plants surviving next to dandelions all the time. It didn't make sense. But he couldn't say so. "It's 'cause the twolegs thought the dandelions didn't belong there. They had to clear the soil so that the plants they wanted could grow." His brows drew together as, for a heartbeat, he was overwhelmed with fury at the injustice of it all. Who did they think they were to decide what got to live where? Were they honestly that desperate to exert control over some part of the vast world? With that thought, pity washed over him. He was being too critical of creatures he knew nothing about, excepting his knowledge of their capacity to manufacture strange things and plant beautiful... gardens. That was what Juncopaw had said. Gardens. He had to remember that word. "Huh," he murmured, nodding his head. Juncopaw did have an awfully good point about his family. Not about him, though. He wasn't anything like his mother or his father. "You've got a point there. My parents are really the only interesting ones in my family, though. All I do is chew up leaves and spit them on everybody's cuts, feed them berries, and occasionally seeds. Willowpaw is... well. You know all about that, being her best friend, and Elmpaw is... he's... it seems like all he likes to do is flirt. We're nothing like our parents. "Heck, we haven't even struggled through anything! I haven't, at least. The most dramatic thing that has ever happened to me was being promoted to a full medicine cat before I'd barely wet myself behind the ears. In the other clans, medicine cat apprentices can retain that rank for over half their lives, sometimes." He smiled then, though. Juncopaw had probably heard enough of his whining. "I'm glad you think it makes me interesting, though." Juncopaw was so... she was so... gosh, he didn't know. What words could he honestly use to describe her after this conversation? They had both revealed so much, and after something like that, one's opinion of somebody changes. She must be something good, though, because no matter what she said, he wanted her to keep going. That was encouraging to know. Maybe he'd finally found another friend! No, there was no "maybe" about it. Juncopaw was his friend. Excellent! "When you're an inexperienced kittypet bumbling through a big town trying to follow a insane dream you have and abandoning free warmth and food, you feel more crazy than brave." "I think it's very courageous," he blurted before he could contain the words. His eyes widened in surprise and his tail jumped to cover his mouth. Oh dear. Oh dear oh dear oh dear. What. Why. What. "No matter what you feel, I do," he murmured, suddenly very interested in the ground beneath his paws. Oh, how ashamed he was! Not because of what he had said, oh no. No, words can be easily remedied with more words. What he was ashamed of was himself. "You had a dream and you followed it into territory that held everything you had never known. The clans... they had a dream, but all they had to do was move from one place to another. They had been raised in the wilderness and the only new thing for them was the territory. And me." He squeezed his eyes shut for a moment, not wanting his thoughts or feelings to come out. No friend of his had ever known what went on inside of him. He always took care of them. It came naturally. He didn't want to reveal his issues and give his friends cause to worry about him. But it couldn't be helped by this point. "I just got lucky. I had a dream and I got chosen to live it. That's all." For a terrifying moment, he wondered whether it was even alright for him to be talking to Juncopaw like this. She was a lady. Was there some rule against sharing your feelings with a female that he was unaware of? Would she laugh at him? Would he be judged? Was it okay? Even if it wasn't, it was too late for him to do a thing about it, he supposed. So he just sat there drowning in his feelings of stark inferiority. Juncopaw had worked so hard to bring her dream to actualization... and he'd cavorted about PineClan territory trying to teach himself. "That's not stupid, Juncopaw. I can understand," he said with an encouraging nod of his head. A few short hours ago, he had thought Juncopaw to be one of the most ridiculous, silly, and possibly stupid cats of his acquaintance. He had been humoring her, mostly. Not anymore. He saw depth now, in places that were possibly hidden from everybody else. He felt privileged to have this information shared with him. "Do you ever... do you ever feel like... like a dandelion, being here?" [bg=5f8219][atrb=width,469,true] [atrb=border,0,true]

[Cloudbat]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,0,true][atrb=width,500,true]

[bg=#a6bee4] "Huh." responded Juncopaw, tilting her head to one side. That makes sense, I guess. One piece of prey couldn't sustain everyone, so you had to give to one cat. If you split into too many slices, it barely fed a single kit. It sounded like the same principle. The silver tabby was almost surprised to find herself thinking such thoughts. Had she always been capable of it? Or did Crowflower awaken it in me? It was confusing, but pleasant. I've never thought of myself as dumb....okay, maybe I have, when compared with Willowpaw. And in a way, she still did. It was like there were two Juncopaws - the timid, subservient one who just wanted to belong, and this new one who could think and observe and slowly grow stronger. Which one was she, really? Hurray! She'd made a point. She smiled, tail twitching contentedly, purring. Yet her face fell when he said he wasn't interesting. Silly mouse-brain. "You seem to have forgotten that without you we'd have no medicine cat, dummy. It'd be an interesting situation if you weren't here." She meowed dryly. "And while I don't know what's going on between you and Willowpaw, and I won't ask, I like you both, and you're both interesting. Willowpaw...she just knows things. It's hard to explain. Elmpaw...heh, I have to agree with you there." The apprentice conceded, grinning slightly. He'd even tried it with her once. At first, Juncopaw hadn't even understood what he was doing. Then she'd caught on, and she'd been horrified. Why, she couldn't quite explain. It just...wasn't right. Hmm, could have something to do with the fact that I prefer his brother over him a hundred times over. Not that she actually worried about Elmpaw falling in love with her. The very thought was absurd. Wait, what? He...he really thought she was brave? The PineClan she-cat stifled to urge to giggle in delight. Then she really listened to what he was saying, her blue eyes wide as she took it in. "I...I guess that's true. We both chose, in a way...they just knew more than I did. If I'd known what was waiting for me, would I have come?" She mused to herself, then instantly regretted the words. Then the black tom spoke again...she could only nod. He did have a point - his life had been, well, easy. Physically, at least. Emotionally...not so much. She looked away as he said it wasn't stupid. "Eh...I guess." Then- A dandelion. He got it now. He understood how weak she was. Juncopaw hated looking weak to him, hated him for understanding how vulnerable she was. Yet she also loved him even more for it - began to really love him, not just be infatuated with him. Yes, he is still obscenely handsome and I am going to squee over it. But it's more than that now. "Yes, Crowflower, I do. I am the dandelion among the beautiful flowers, providing so little and taking so much. But...I think I can change that now. You remember, when I said you'd given me a reason to live again?" It seemed like so long ago. "I want to stop making excuses for myself. Earth knows it won't be easy. I know I'm going to make mistakes. But I remember something...something I heard once, though I don't remember where." She was thoughtful, calm in her words, even as her heart cried and laughed. "'Do not cry for the leaves when they fall; smile because they will return even more beautiful than they were before.'"

[Glowy]

Talking with Juncopaw about his sister was depressing him. Crowflower could never stomach the thought of Willowpaw for very long, not without wondering about all the things he could do to try and fix the situation, and how sorely they all would fail. If Willowpaw was anything like his mother, then she was stubborn. No amount of heartfelt persuasion would begin to right whatever wrong he had done to make her feel this way toward him. It broke his heart clear in half. What had blinded her eyes to who he really was? Because surely if she saw who he really was, she would love him in return. Wouldn't she? Right now, more than anything, he wanted to curl up in a ball and shut out everyone and everything. When he thought about all the ways in which he failed, it broke not only his heart, but his soul. The thought of failure was something that he could not handle. Failure meant disappointment, and disappointment meant judgment, and judgment was tantamount to hatred. He hated the ways he failed. He especially hated how, when he failed, it always produced hurt. That was not his task in life! Healing was his prerogative, not wounding. He couldn't... he couldn't handle it. Oh, to fix things with his sister! That was his largest failure, overall. "I don't... I don't really like to talk about Willowpaw," he mumbled dejectedly. If Juncopaw were not paying attention, she would miss his confession. "It makes me too sad. I have a really hard time thinking about it, which makes it hard to deal with." He brightened up a bit and gave her a quizzical look. "But it just comes out around you. It's not as bad to talk about her with you. Why is that?" It really was quite confusing for him. As much as he loathed talking about his sister, he couldn't seem to stop himself around Juncopaw. It was completely bizarre. It was almost as if... almost as if he knew that somehow she would help him. He always believed that talking about your problems helped you to overcome them. So why had he selected Juncopaw? "Oh, of course you would have still come!" Crowflower rose up and moved so that he was sitting next to her. Their shoulders nearly touched. The closeness made him feel like what he was about to say was more legitimate, and more personal somehow. "Juncopaw, some things are just meant to happen. I don't know much, but I do know that. You coming here was meant to happen. If not for you, then for... for me." He paused shyly, smiling. "You and Finchpaw are the only friends I have in the whole world. For me to stay sane, you have to be here. One way or another, you would have found your way into my life. Hah, it's just a good thing you didn't find FogClan before you found us!" A cheerful laugh wormed its way out of his mouth from his heart and he grinned again, and the stars returned to his eyes. After his bout of comedy, Juncopaw's seriousness was oddly sobering. He reminded himself that they were having a deep discussion here. It was difficult to get himself back into that mindset. No laughs. This was a no laughing zone. For the life of him, he couldn't think of a single thing to say back to her, though! His small, pathetic joke must have killed half of his brain cells or something, because they sure weren't firing on all cylinders. Maybe... one cylinder. He shook his head and found himself spewing words before he could think about them. "You're not a weed, Juncopaw! Don't even think like that. You provide more than you think. I mean, when you're not being silly," he teased, giving her shoulder a light shove with his own. "If you want to change, though, and that'll make you happy, go for it. I'll be here to help, if you want." Oh, and he meant it, too! Something was giving him the feeling that as Juncopaw grew, so would he. One should not ignore feelings like that. [bg=5f8219][atrb=width,469,true] [atrb=border,0,true]

[Cloudbat]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,0,true][atrb=width,500,true]

[bg=#a6bee4] Crowflower mumbled something...something about Willowpaw? Her ears nearly missed his words. It was hard to talk about Willowpaw, it made him sad? Aw. Poor Crowy. Well, at least he knows he can talk to me now. "I don't know. I mean, I'm her friend, so I understand her...sorta. But I also want to help, if I can. I mean, I like you both, so I wish I could make things better. Though if I'm honest, I probably can't stand up to her." Juncopaw smiled mirthlessly. "It's...just the way it works. I'm sorry. Still, I'm always here to bounce ideas off, if you need it." It was so nice to have him finally respect he- Eyyyyyyyyyy? He...now...her...leaning against? Willingly? Be still, my heart. Trying not to hyperventilate, Juncopaw stared at the scenery, the tree they'd climbed, the sunlight through the trees, the dead leaves underneath their paws, the faint rotting smell of them. She drank in his words as she stared at the ground, feeling like she could have grown wings. For him. He said she was meant to come for him. Say it! clamored the voice in her head. Tell him how you feel! I cannot. Wrenching herself away, she continued to listen. Finchpaw...huh. She hadn't known he'd been good friends with the FogClan medicine cat apprentice. Weird. Then again, Clan boundaries didn't really exist for medicine cats the way they did for warriors - but still, FogClan? Finchpaw must be something special. Juncopaw didn't hate FogClan, but was puzzled as to how the pair became friends. One way or another you would have found your way into my life. Could it be...true? Could he really love her one day? As more than friends? As mates, when they were old enough? Woah there, she chided herself. You be may be smitten, but that's thinking a bit far ahead. The silver tabby blushed at his teasing words and his shove. So tempting to nuzzle him back. I mustn't. Yet the PineClanner truly broke out into a smile as he said he'd help her. "Heh, well. I can't promise I won't be silly and useless sometimes. But yes, I do want to change, I'll appreciate your help. Also, it's funny you mention not finding FogClan. I actually did run into MeadowClan first, since they're nearest the Twolegplace and all, but I didn't like their camp. It's all underground and icky. Cedarstar's kind of scary, too. Plus they told me about the other Clans and I was all 'This StarClan stuff is weird, I don't know what to think about it. Oh hey! There's a Clan that doesn't believe in StarClan! Tallyho!' Off I went." It was weird but pleasant sharing things with him and having him share things with her in return. It made her have a warm, buzzy feeling inside of her, like she'd just eaten catnip.