Cranepaw

[temp]

Life's too short to even care at all, oh

Name | Cranepaw

Gender | Tom

Age | 12 moons

Rank | Apprentice

Clan | StreamClan

Beliefs | For the most part he does believe in StarClan. StarClan is anything you want it to be as far as he's concerned whether its cats in the sky who's only job is to help and guide you or just the faint presence of your ancestors. Cranepaw hasn't quiet made up his mind about what StarClan is except that it exists and that there's room there for everyone.

I'm losing my mind, my mind, losing control

Parents | Graycloud [NP-deceased mother], Whitefang [NP-father]

Siblings | Mistypaw [NP-sister], Snowpaw [NP-brother]

Other Kin | Unknown

Mate | None

Crush | None

Kits | None

Mentor | Needed

Appearance | Wide-eyed would be a good word to describe Cranepaw's face. With his tall ears, huge eyes, and angular face he looks perpetually shocked. His long droopy whiskers seem out of place on his awkward face. If you didn't know any better from the look on his face you'd think someone was after him.

Compared to the average apprentice Cranepaw is massively tall. Even full-grown warriors dwarf in comparison to him. He takes after his father with his broad shoulders, huge paws, and surreal height much to his displeasure. His height gives him a lanky appearance.

Grooming is the most important thing on Cranepaw's mind. He has to look perfect because looking perfect is a part of being perfect. His pelt always has to be neat and tidy. This tom is the last cat you'll catch with dirt in his fur. Not only is he obsessed with his fur but he's also obsessed with what's underneath it, muscles. Looking strong is just as important to Cranepaw as being strong.


If I could find a way to see this straight I'd run away

Personality |

"... and maybe I'm a little confused."

consistently inconsistent
These two words can sum up practically everything about Cranepaw. One day he'll look up to you, the next he'll hate you. One day he thinks he's a philosopher the next an idiot. The problem isn't making up his mind (something he does quiet often) its changing it.

unsatisfied introvert

skilled hypocrite
Since the womb Cranepaw has been contradicting himself and weaving unintentional webs of lies. He doesn't mean to be a hypocrite it just happens, for someone who changes his mind as much as he does it's inevitable. Don't you dare confront him about his obvious inconsistency because he'll be sure to deny it and make quiet a scene in the process. Besides it's all purely accidental. He is sure to have forgotten saying he believed in StarClan yesterday and that is why he is appalled you confronted him about how he lied to you. He didn't, he truly believed in them yesterday it's just he doesn't today.

The world is a huge place and no matter how confident you are it's easy to get lost in it and that's exactly what Cranepaw has done. He's barely sure of who he is let alone what to believe and honestly for the most part he could care less... except everyone else cares. There's so much pressure to make up your mind about things in the world. He rushes into decisions about things, often he feels he's made the wrong one and quickly changes it, this is a cycle that never seems to end.

Besides there are very few choices to most things. When it comes to the world everything is black and white to him. You either do believe or you don't, there really isn't a middle ground as far as he can tell and more often than not the middle ground would probably be the best place for him to stand. By seeing the world the way he does Cranepaw limits himself, and he doesn't seem to realize that.

acceptance seeker
Acceptance is the only thing Cranepaw's soul craves, for someone to like him for him. Which really isn't much to ask, especially from someone as unhappy and confused as him. Sadly his personality doesn't leave much room for likability. After a few conversations most cats are likely to avoid Cranepaw he can't grasp why. Even though he's usually the one at fault in his relationships he fails to realize it and as a result keeps getting his feelings hurt.

If you ask him (and most cats don't) fitting on has always been something Cranepaw had problems with. His mother, the only cat who'd want no matter what died before he got a chance to know her. His father doesn't want anything to do with him. His siblings can barely tolerate him. Let's face it an adoptive family isn't the same as a real one but that's what Cranepaw got.

Not fitting in, not being accepted as left a decent sized hole in Cranepaw's heart. Life is one disappointment after another, just one big dissatisfaction. Despite this he somehow remains hopeful that someone out their could like him. He isn't going to turn bitter and angry like most cats would, he put his faith in the universe. Cranepaw believes with every fiber of his being that there is someone out there who'd like him... it's the only thing he believes all the time.

His longing for acceptance is accompanied with his fear of abandonment. Being rejected so many times is sure to make him skeptical of anyone who likes him. This fear may cause him to lash out at the one he's scared of losing, pushing them further away.

detestable twit
In all honesty he probably makes it too easy for other cats to dislike him. Cranepaw could play up the 'abandoned kit' act and get sympathy but he doesn't. Cranepaw's real fault is being him and never thinking before he speaks. You'll never have to worry about him censoring himself, after you talk to him once or twice he is sure to say something that could be easily deemed unforgivable.

Most cats pick up on his infamous flip-flopping and white lies in no time flat. Of those that notice none can fathom why another would be so fond of hypocrisy and deceit. Misunderstanding is where their dislike for Cranepaw stems from not from his faults. Even if he wasn't the hypocrite he was he wouldn't have any friends. On far too many occasions he lets his emotions gets the best of him and ends up coming off as inconsiderate and rude. The worst part about it is Cranepaw fails to realize that he is doing anything by failing to filter himself.

If hypocrisy isn't the problem and his lack of censorship isn't then its his forceful projecting of emotions. Cranepaw tends to project his feelings into others. If he's angry you are, if he's sad you are and most cats don't like being out to be something they're not.

chronically empty
The emptiness isn't something that Cranepaw an shake no matter how hard he tries. When he least expects it, it'll creep up and gnaw on him. No matter what it sneaks up on him, followed by a insatiable restlessness. It would be fair to say that these feelings are the root of most of his trouble as he'll do just about anything to make them go away.

note Cranepaw's personality is largely based on/ affected by borderline personality disorder.

Skills | Swimming is something Cranepaw has great difficulty with due to his half-Clan blood. He's build like a MeadowClan cat, jumping and climbing are more up his alley. Despite that fact Cranepaw tries, it just doesn't come naturally to him.

Many cats would refer to him as a skilled hypocrite, something he's completely oblivious to. Contradicting himself isn't something he sets out to do, it just happens and he rarely notices. After all he always knows what page he's on, so he just assumes everyone else is too.

Getting under his clan mates skin is another thing he does with ease. With his unmoderated feelings, tendency towards hypocrisy, and generally crummy personality it's practically inevitable. It's also completely unintentional just like most bad things Cranepaw ends up doing. For a cat with good intentions it seems he's constantly getting the short end of the stick.

A dark world aches for a splash of sun oh oh

History | Forbidden love never ends well. When Whitefang found out Graycloud was going to have kits he couldn't of been happier. The love of his life was going to bare his kits. The news was enough to make him leave MeadowClan to be with her. Too bad he was only with her for a few moons. His mate died bringing Cranepaw and his siblings into the world. From the moment she died Whitefang hated those kits. As far as he was concerned they killed Graycloud and that wasn't something he could deal with.

Dovenose was entrusted with the duty of foster mother of Graycloud's kits. As soon as they were all safe and situated in the nursery Whitefang began his career as an absentee father. For a while Cranekit vied for his attention but quickly gave up after his fathers negative response. He made it obvious he didn't want a thing to do with his son and hated it on StreamClan, it reminded him too much of her.

To say that growing up in Streamclan has been great would be a lie. Cranekit was never a happy kit and he grew into an unhappy apprentice.

So I run to the things they said could restore me

Critique level | Criticize all aspects of my character