Russetstorm

[f i x a t e]

Gender | Tom ♂ Age | 27 moons Rank | Warrior Clan | Meadowclan Beliefs| In Russetstorm’s mind, following Starclan’s word is the only way to live righteously. He believes in living strictly by the Warrior Code, and that those who stray from it should be punished. Russetstorm aspires to be the noblest warrior he can by living by the Warrior Code, and pities those who choose otherwise. He would die in a heartbeat for his clan, and believes that the more commendable of life you lived in your clan, the more honorable warrior you are in the afterlife, living in the Silverpelt. Russetstorm’s strong beliefs in Starclan come from his mother, Oakflower. Given her history, she wanted something better for her kit, so she decided to immerse him in the Warrior Code and taught him everything she knew about Starclan. She encouraged him to make her proud by becoming a strong and noble warrior, which he did. He now continues to honor his mother’s wishes, and wants to achieve the most that he can to make her proud. Parents | Oakflower [ ♀ – Mother – Ex-Loner – Deceased ], Unknown [ ♂ – Father – Loner/Rouge – NP ] Siblings | Mousekit [ ♂ – Brother – Littermate – Deceased ], Smallkit [ ♀ – Sister – Littermate – Deceased] Mate | None Yet Crush | None Yet Kits | None Yet Apprentice/Mentor | None Yet Appearance | When first spotted, Russetstorm appears to be of monstrous size. Although he does have a large frame of average length, his thick, long fur makes him look bigger than he really is. Bulky and muscular in build, he uses brute force when fighting. His heavy movements show his strength, but tend to be slow because of his mass, leaving him susceptible to quick attacks. His pelt is long year-round, although it is much thicker and a tad bit longer in the winter. He keeps it well-groomed, which is a tedious task. The long fur softens his facial features, making them appear not so angular. The ginger tabby’s fur fades into tan on his underbelly, under his chin, and on the end of his tail. His back is a deep reddish-orange, similar to the color of a fox. The dark, russet stripes only show up on his face and legs for the most part, then they fade into the fox color. Little tufts of red fur stick up over his ears; especially in the winter when his fur is longer. Long, white whiskers fan away from his light-pink nose, framing his face. They also poke out from above his natural, olive-green eyes. He tries not to let his eyes give away his feelings, and is quite skilled at hiding his emotions, because he thinks it is an asset in battle. Personality | Russetstorm is extremely passionate and caring. He is a very emotional cat, but he puts up a wall to keep his strong warrior image. He appears to be strict and assertive, but those who know him understand that it is only because he cares. As a typical tom, he believes that showing emotion is a sign of weakness, and his goal of being the best warrior he can pushes him to hide his feelings. He doesn't want to publicly show that he cares about, well, anything. When something upsets him, he hides it to make it seem like he's okay, because he believes that being a leader means appearing to be doing fine when in all reality you're far from it. Cats outside of his clan would describe Russetstorm as a harsh, tough tom, because that is his mask. Inside the clan, though, they think of him as a respectful warrior who is fiercely loyal to his clan. He does not fill silence with awkward chatter, but rather chooses to speak when he finds it important or beneficial. He has a very serious demeanor, and apprentices and kits look up to, (and are a bit intimidated by) him. Although he is a very daunting cat, his clan mates find him to be extremely trustworthy, and most would trust their lives in his paws, no matter how oblivious they are to his feelings. His emotions aren't the only thing that Russetstorm hides. His ambitions are also unknown to his clan mates. Although he is still very young, he hopes to advance in his rank. He wants to be reputable warrior, and for his name to be feared by enemy clans. His greatest desire is to be promoted to deputy, and then leader, but he knows that this is a long-shot dream. That doesn’t mean he won’t try, though. He has reasons for hiding his goals. Firstly, the most obvious reason, is fear of humiliation. If the other cats were to know he wanted to be leader one day, he'd never hear the end of it. Secondly, warriors didn't go around dropping hints that they wanted to climb the ranking ladder. It could make him come off as overconfident, possibly, and perhaps even a little conceited. Russetstorm could see himself opening up to someone, and taking on the responsibility as a mate, and eventually a father. He most definitely has a sensitive side, but it would take the right she-cat to bring it out. He does have a soft spot for kits, but only a few of the queens are aware of it. He’s quite harsh with apprentices, pushing them to be better warriors for the clan, but it’s all because he cares. Russetstorm is very head-strong in his beliefs, and quite quick to judge. A bit on the impulsive side, he sometimes jumps to conclusions. He will hear somebody out before acting crude, but sometimes his pre-judgments overpower the truth. Overall, he seems like a strict and demanding tom, when in reality he just puts up a wall so his emotions (which he believes are a sign of weakness) won’t show. Skills | Russetstorm is a skilled fighter, but heavily relies upon his strength in battle. He easily overpowers cats, and sends them away with wounds that will make them remember him. He is also great at detecting enemy and prey scents, and tracking them. He is a great asset to a patrol or attack-party, and hates to miss out on a fight since that is his greatest skill. When it comes to hunting, Russetstorm’s size leaves him a great disadvantage. His heavy movements are often noisy, alarming prey. He is also a bit slower because of his mass, so the prey is more apt to escape his clutches. He has a decent stamina, but it worsens in greenleaf when his thick coat causes him to overheat rather quickly. He’s not very good at running long distances because he is a rather large cat with heavy fur. Russetstorm would make a great attack-party leader. He’s great at formulating battle strategies, and fearless when it comes to fighting. He’s also quite good as assessing what cats strengths and weaknesses are, so formulating patrols and such would be a breeze. His emotional shield could be a potential negative as a leader, but it could also be a positive in times of distress. History | Russetstorm’s mother, Oakflower was a loner picked up by the Forestclan cats. She had lived a sorry life up until that point, birthing many litters of kits with no idea who the father of any of them were. When the Forestclan cats approached her with the proposition of joining a clan, she jumped at the opportunity, hoping to turn her life around, and provide a healthy environment for any kits she had in the future. Shortly after the formation of the clans, she gave into her old habits, and became pregnant once again. Not aware of her pregnancy, though, the older cat consumed some tansy leaves for joint pains, and miscarried two of her kittens. Two weeks later, though, she gave birth to the third and final kitten and named him Russetkit for his reddish-orange coloring. With no competition for food, Russetkit grew quickly, and became a strong little kit. Russetkit was delighted when Oakflower decided to take him on as her own apprentice. She pushed him hard, and taught him everything she knew. He felt like she was pouring everything she had into him, and essentially, she was. It made him feel like he was something special. Russetpaw's ambitions grew, nurtured by his mother's praise and encouragement. His fighting skills were extraordinary, as his mother had been in many fights throughout her loner life. The downside to this what that he didn’t play very nicely with the other apprentices, and they tended to avoid him because of his ferocity. He was too rough, even in play-fighting. So he was very much considered an outsider, and didn’t get close to anyone besides his mother. The day Russetstorm got his warrior name was the proudest day of Oakflower’s life, and he could see that. A few days after his ceremony, Oakflower, being as old as she was, grew gravely ill and passed away. It hit Russetstorm really hard, but he refused to show his pain. He went through the mourning motions, but his face was a blank slate the whole time, closing himself off from everyone. Even though he now has accepted her death and is no longer in a mourning state, he has his guard up, and finds it difficult to let cats know his feelings. He continues to try to make his mother in Starclan proud, and feels that there is a reason he was the only one of his litter to survive—it allowed him to become the strongest kit possible. Although he has a few close friends, he is not overflowing with them; but he also doesn’t have any enemies within the clan right now. He is well-respected and trusted, but he certainly isn’t the most sociable cat in the clan, so he is often seen off on his own. He tries to befriend other cats, but without an emotional side to a conversation, they often lose interest, or consider his attempts just everyday chat.

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[Rolo]

Hey, Fixate Wonderful first cat you have here :3 I had fun reading about him. There aren't any things I need to ask you to change to make him FoF suitable, so I'll get into characterisation a little more.

When it comes to his name, we usually use -storm to describe fiery or temperamental cats, so it doesn't entirely suit Russetstorm. Maybe switching his suffix to something else, -heart or -fang(fighter) perhaps, would suit him better?

Appearance wise, it all looks good.
His eyes are soft, and are often fixed in a brave expression. <--- This line could be removed, because it feels contradictory and I don't think a cat can always look courageous.

On to personality. It's already at a very high level, and he sounds like a very balanced and well rounded cat. However, it feels like there is more of his character lurking in there, and that you could draw out some of the elements of his personality that lie beneath the surface. Drive wise, his most obvious motive is ambition, yet he doesn't give off an aura of a power-craving cat. You mention he hides his emotions a lot, but what ones is he hiding exactly? Explore them a bit and intergrate them into what drives his behaviour. Do a little work under the surface of his personality, and your bio will benefit from it

As for history, it's all good from a detail point of view. However, the narrative is focused squarely on Oakflower for most of it, showing her reactions to things instead. It would be better if you focused on Russetstorm and his reactions to events instead, as it is his bio and his history, not his mother's.

For example: Oakflower took her son on as her own apprentice, pushing him hard and teaching him everything. She wanted him to be the best, and was constantly encouraging him and building up his ambitions.

Could become:

Oakflower was so eager to oversee his training, Russetstorm was trained by his mother herself. She was a hard cat to please, and no matter how hard he tried to reach the bar, she always lifted it out of his reach just as he attained it. Through this, Oakflower ingrained a sense of ambition into Russetstorm's psyche, and this impacted profoundly on his personality.

[f i x a t e]

Hello, Rolo! Thank you, I've been working on him for awhile. I'm excited to get started at FoF. (:

"When it comes to his name, we usually use -storm to describe fiery or temperamental cats, so it doesn't entirely suit Russetstorm. Maybe switching his suffix to something else, -heart or -fang(fighter) perhaps, would suit him better?"
~*~
This is the only thing I'm hesitant about changing, because I absolutely adore his name. I'm not sure why, but names are always a big deal to me, and I tend to create a cat to the name, rather than vice-versa. (I'm backwards, I know)

I got the suffix -storm from Ten's Guide, which I see is posted here as a source. Two quotes from the page:

"Your passionate -storm cat will lead the charge into battle."
"storm = moody, emotional, passionate, boisterous (stormy) personality "

I understand that FoF may have a different definition for -storm, and I hate to argue, but I think that -storm hints as his passion, loyalty, attitude, and fighting skills all in the little suffix. I'll change his character if you still disagree, and I'm sorry for arguing.

"Do a little work under the surface of his personality, and your bio will benefit from it"
~*~
I added to the end of the first and third paragraphs of personality. Let me know if you think I can add more. I don't want to ramble. (:

"the narrative is focused squarely on Oakflower for most of it, showing her reactions to things instead. It would be better if you focused on Russetstorm and his reactions to events instead, as it is his bio and his history, not his mother's. "
~*~
I edited the second paragraph of history.

I wasn't sure how the editing process works here as most of the bios I read had just been accepted, or moved over from the old site, so I decided to post in reply to your comments, like Ten does at Starless, as it seems like an effective system... If I'm doing it wrong, though, I'm sorry, and just let me know. (:

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[Rolo]

Tis perfectly fine to reply to the crits, but you need to make sure you repost your cat on the Notification thread again (We can have a lot of cats to check, y'see, and it's easy to miss people.)

I can understand your definition, and that's part of how I define it too. I don't think it's so much of an issue that I'm going to force you to change it, because the storm part of his name comes from his passionate nature and fighting instinct :3

Those changes to his personality are right on the money, it helps glue the character together Thanks.

Anyway, the history is far better also :3 So, once you've had the second check (with luck, that should happen today or tomorrow, once Pyro gets on) it should all be fine.

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[Pyro]

I see no issue with Russetstorm's suffix, and overall, this is a very good first cat.

If you haven't already, I recommend signing him up for a role in the MeadowClan plot. c:

[2/2]