Patchclaw

[Dakki ♥ ❤ ❥]

Name | Patchclaw

Gender | She-cat

Age | 12 moons

Rank | Warrior

Clan | Pineclan

Beliefs | Does not think that Starclan is real and laughs at people who do. Cats living in the sky? What a silly thing to say.

Parents | Hookedclaw [father, np] Flowernose [mother, np]

Siblings | Goldenkit [sister, np] Hollowtail [brother, np] Brokenear [brother, np]

Other Kin | Hollyleaf [aunt, np] Spottedcoat [cousin, male, np]

Mate | Not yet

Crush | Not yet

Kits | Not yet

Apprentice/Mentor | Not yet

Appearance | Patchclaw is a black and white cat with stunning green eyes. They are very piercing and display her emotions well. Her salt and pepper coat is of medium length. All four paws are white, as well as most of her underbelly. Her whole tail is black, as well as most of her back. The patch of white fur starts at the crown of her head and runs down to her nose before splitting off on to her cheeks. She is a smaller female, but she makes up for that in her strength.

Preview

Personality | This she-cat is a very strong willed creature, as well as easily agitated. Most are careful not to make Patchclaw angry, because it takes a long time for her to forgive. A fierce fighter, and also very stubborn Once she has made up her mind on something it is impossible to make her change her mind. If she is arguing a point, no matter what is said she will stand by it. She has a weak spot for kits, more so for females. This is not because she is sexist, but because she often imagines her own lost sister. Even though she is quick to anger and very stubborn, she can be a sweet cat after you get past her rock wall she builds around herself. She likes to listen, but isn't much of a talker unless she knows the speaker well. Patchclaw is the type of cat who is hard to please, if and when she gets an apprentice they will have a hard time making her proud of them. But as soon as she is pleased, you are in her good books for awhile.

Skills | A very skilled fighter and adapt hunter, she would make a great hunter. Her stubbornness can get her into sticky situations, but her quick wits get her out. Patchclaw cannot swim to save her life, and tries to avoid it at all costs. She also isn't very skilled in climbing trees.

History | Patchclaw's life started out as a struggle. One of her sisters died before she was born, named Goldenkit for her lovely golden fur. Her mother lived long enough her hear the mews of her three kits before she too, was lost. Hollowclaw was crushed by his loss, and went a bit insane. He danced around camp and chanted his mate and lost kits name, again and again. He didn't eat, didn't drink, and didn't sleep. Then, one day, he was gone. That left the three little kits to the hand of their aunts, who was nursing her own little girl. So Patchclaw was raised with three boys, oh the horror.

Because she grew up with so many males, she learned to be tough and grew up to become a skilled fighter. Her two brothers and cousin teamed up on her a lot when they were kits and always made her the bad guy in their games. She couldn't wait until she became an apprentice and could escape the claws of the toms. Her mentor was just like her, hard to please. She worked very hard to prove herself, just to get the approval from the she-cat. That is where she learned to be such a skilled fighter and hunter. She worked twice as hard as her brothers, who had more fun playing around then working on their skills.

Patchclaw was made a warrior at a young age after proving just how loyal she was to Pineclan. She was very proud of herself, and her brothers and cousin were very jealous of her. She laughed at them and then said that it was because of their tormenting as kits that made her work so hard with her mentor.

Critique level | Make my cat FoF suitable

[Rolo]

Hey there Dakki You most certainly have made a good start. However, here at FoF, we try to help you improve by posting some crits on each bio :3 Nothing personal, I swear, we're only trying to help. I know this looks like a lot, but I promise it'll all get easier when you understand what we want from a bio It's onwards and upwards from here!

Name
Firstly, FoF is a site that uses traditional naming A suffix must symbolise a skill (hunting, fighting etc), a personality trait (-heart (loyalty), -storm (stormy)) or add onto appearance (-pelt, -fur), and cannot be used to describe events or history in the cat's life. Therefore, only certain suffixes are allowed on cat's names. The second part of Patchwing, -wing, isn't on our list. May I suggest -claw or -fang or -storm, which would reflect her skillset? :3 If you need any other help, PM me or another staff member, or ask around on the c-box, and someone will be happy to help!

Personality
Her personality so far is very good. However, I think you need to talk about more of her personality traits. You talk a lot about how she acts and relates to others, which is good :3 Is she fussy, messy, prone to distraction, hard to please, cold, arrogant, or what? :3 Also, in what respects is she stubborn?

Skills
I'd like to see one clear weakness with her skills. Maybe she can't swim or she has no sense of direction? Something to balance out her good fighting and hunting skills.

History
Firstly, you might want to change the word 'stir-crazy' to something else, because stir-crazy means 'Going a bit mad because you've been stuck inside/in one place for too long'

Secondly, you need to describe more of her personal history. What was her kithood like? When was she apprenticed, how did she deal with it and did she enjoy it? Lastly, how did she become a warrior? She became a warrior very young, so she must be proud of that.

If you need any further help, feel free to PM me or one of the other staff

[Dakki ♥ ❤ ❥]

So I'm confused because Glowly posted in the notification thread, but I'm not sure if that means that Patchclaw is accepted or not...

[Rolo]

Some wonderful improvements I believe this cat is ready to be accepted, so I give my half of the acceptance :3 Another staff member just needs to brush over her now.

[1/2]

[Glowy]

[2/2]

I'm sorry about the confusion, Dakki. It was my mistake. Patchclaw is accepted now that she's been checked twice.