& don't forget to breathe

[Jori]

title don't forget to breath
author jori
characters unknown, thrushflower implied
genre angst, flash fiction/vignette
rating pg-13
warning implied death, romance

i. she is tired. she doesn’t know why but she can feel it – a snake’s poison seeping through her veins. she shouldn’t be like this; she should be happy, youthful, brave, rambunctious. she is still a child, after all, and children are rarely ever sad. children are blissful and spunky, and as they would say it, pure.

the word stings her maw like bile, and she can’t shake it off. if she is impure, then what is pure? she’s been beat over the head one too many times to believe in pure; her mother’s corpse has been resting far too long. if pure is the act of murder covered up by “faith”, then what is the act of rebelling covered up by, well, nothing?

how is fighting for your life treason?

and she remembers her mother’s soft whisper, as gentle as the moon’s touch: don’t let them take you don’t let them hurt you, if they ever touch my children i swear i’ll–

they called it a “sinwound”. they said starclan willed it so.

ii. they met as apprentices – a mistake on the part of every council member who allowed her to the gathering.

perhaps they thought they had cleansed her by killing her mother, but in reality, it does just the opposite. she may be quiet, but the fire flowing in her veins burns ever stronger.

she’s not scared of getting caught; she’s done so many forbidden things during her life that this is just an addition to the list.

he says, you could leave everything behind. they don’t want you.

she believes him. ever since she learned to listen, to trust her senses, she’s believed in that.

she’s never told him about her mother, and when she does there’s new venom in her voice, venom that only starclan is to blame for. violence is not the answer, violence is not the answer.

violence is the only answer. she doesn’t tell him that that’s all she’s ever learned to believe

she promises him she’ll leave.

iii. it’s a promise left unfulfilled.

when she gets to camp, she’s there. kind-eyed, though flame-hearted, she approaches.

i’ve been watching you. a venomous purr, like the hiss of an adder. unpleasant and harsh. you’re just like your mother.

she knows it’s over.