Darkpaw(blind MCA)

[dusk]

Name | Darkpaw/storm

Gender | she-cat

Age | 7 moons

Rank | Medicine cat apprentice

Clan | Pineclan

Beliefs | Darkpaw has never had the chance to believe in starclan, but not because of Pineclan, she just doesn't want to believe that there is a place for bad cats after they die. She is believes that their are no evil cats only bad ones, because she believes every cat has a good side.

Parents | Blackcreasant(mother; died from giving birth); Clawpelt(father; died before meeting his kits) and anyone can claim her as their foster kit

Siblings | her litter mates were born dead she was the only one to survive

Other Kin | unknown

Mate | no she doesn't even believe in love

Crush | no she doesn't even believe in love

Kits | never

Apprentice/Mentor | the medicine cat

Appearance | Darkpaw is a small, long-furred black she-cat with pale sightless blue eyes. She has a long, narrow, triangular face with small rounded ears that had turfts on the ends. She has long legs, so when she gets older she probably have a tall lean appearance. She has sleek fur and the tip of her tail is white. She has a white stomach, and her paws throat and chest are also white. She has scars covering her legs from getting use to the camp and the territory. The young she-cat has a long tail and long white claws though the tip of her claws are white.

Personality | Darkpaw is a grumpy, shy young cat who hates fighting and hurting others. Her overall personality is bitter and she can be hard to figure out. She is surprising calm for a young cat and always respects the cats older then her never stepping out of line. She won't say much she prefers working by herself in silence then with others talking. She doesn't talk to many cats besides her mentor and those that have become her friends. She is also quite sensitive when others point out her blindness. Her major flaw is her shyness, because it makes it hard for her to speak to the other medicine cats and make friends. Another flaw is that even though she is shy she has a fiery temper and usually hurts cats feelings without meaning to. Her blindness doesn't keep her from having friends with others, but usually she isolates herself from the rest of the clan making her seem antisocial which she is. Honestly most of her clan mates view her as a block of ice.

Skills | She is a fast learner and has a good memory of herbs.

History | kit hood: As a kit she never met her father and she was born to Blackcreasant who died giving birth to her, so she was giving to a foster queen to be taken care of. While the clan was mourning over the dead queen and her still born kits she was given the name Darkkit, because of her black fur. When she was two moons old she caught a case of greencough and nearly died before the medicine cat cured her. After having been cured of green cough she dreamed of becoming the next medicine cat. She would always sneak away to the medicine den and listen to the medicine cat talk about herbs. Reaching her fifth moon she snuck into the medicine den and begged the medicine cats to consider making her,one of their apprentice.

Now: when it was finally her apprentice ceremony she was pleased to be named the medicine cat apprentice. She made her nest right after the ceremony and was ready to learn about herbs. She learned quickly to her mentors delight and was always ready to help those in need.

Critique level | FoF-suita

[Rolo]

Hey there, Dusk :D It's lovely to meet you :3 I'm Rolo, and I'm gonna be your friendly neighbourhood biochecker today.

First of all, you want to play a med cat apprentice? Well, you're in luck! We're looking for a big amount of Pineclan medicine cats and med cat apprentices (they can have several because they don't believe in Starclan), so I'd encourage you to apply for that one instead :D Unfortunately, all med cat apprentice positions are filled in the other clans.

Appearance
Her appearance is fine mostly, well done! However, since we go for realism on FoF, I'm afraid you'll have to change the white stripe down her back as this isn't a realistic marking :D

Personality
Sounds like an interesting cat :D But I want to know more! Namely, I'm interested in what flaws she has. She has a lot of abilities and good qualities, but these need to be balanced with weaknesses. Does her blindness make her less sociable or easy to make friends with, outside her job? Is she peaceful to a fault, not understanding that fighting sometimes needs to occur to protect the things she loves? Or is there something else?

Criticism:
This section is asking you about how much help you'd like on your bio, not about how your cat deals with criticism. There are 2 options, 'Make my bio FoF-suitable' or 'All criticism'. I'm pretty sure you want to 'Make your bio FoF-suitable' :)

If you decide to make her a Pineclan apprentice, likelihood is you will need to change her history, skills and beliefs to fit in with how she'd be raised in Pineclan :) If you need any help with this, just send me a message!

[dusk]

I fixed it I made her shyness and fiery temper her flaws

[Rolo]

Right, this is looking much better, however, I have a few more small things which will take seconds to fix. You've done very well so far Thankyou for persevering!

I apologise for missing her warrior name originally, that was silly of me x.X I'm afraid that when she becomes a warrior she cannot have the name 'Darkeyes' because we don't accept the suffix -eyes. But I'm sure people here can help you come up with a brilliant alternative, I think Darknose or Darkheart would work well for her

You need to change the clan she's in to Pineclan on the 'Clan' section.

Additionally, you need to change the sentence 'and she is levelheaded rarely losing her temper.' because you later say that she has a fiery temper and this means your bio contradicts itself.

The admins are discussing your application for the ranking at the moment, and we should be able to get back to you about it soon

[dusk]

I'll change the name, but a suffix with eye was use in the warriors series White-eye Erin Hunter used the name in Warriors series and I already play a lot of cats on other sites with the name Darkheart, though I love the names Darkrose and Darkthorn, I've used Darkrose before and I can also use the name Darkgaze or Darkfire please tell me which name you like best and if you want me to list some herbs as a pre-assessment I will.

[Rolo]

Some good points We don't want you to think that we're not taking your thoughts into account, because we are, but unfortunately -eyes doesn't work for this cat's name on FoF. It's to do with our naming system, which has a limited list of suffixes.

The reason is pretty complex. We go off the idea that cats cannot be named after eyes at birth because they don't open for a certain amount of time for the mother to look. However, this is different in renames, where elders can be named literally in their current state (there's no wondering what colours the eyes will be), meaning -eyes can be used as a suffix. Furthermore, -eyes relies on the prefix to describe it, and so the prefix needs to reflect the colour of the eyes. Darkeye's eyes are pale, rather than dark, so the name does not work.

I know this probably sounds needlessly complex, but it's just how our naming system works :3 I wanted to give you a proper answer.

Darkheart would work well here I'd also like to offer up Darkflower as an alternative to Darkrose, because -rose isn't on our list of accepted prefixes, and I believe they work the same way

[dusk]

Yeah well I was gonna name her Dark-eyes because she only sees darkness, and what about Darksong, Darksorrow(don't know why I came up with that name), Darkrage(I really like this one,) I'll go with Darkrage and these are the herbs I know

herbs:
Yarrow: makes a cat get sick mostly used to make a cat vomit up poison

cobwebs: stops bleeding

rush: used to bind broken bones
Comfrey: used on broken bones

Burdock root: used for an infected rat bite

Chevril: chew up the leaves and drip the juice in the wound to stop infection

marigold: used for bad eyes or for sour pads and stratches

borage: helps a queens milk come

raspberry leaves(used in Crookedstars Promise): stops bleeding and dulls the pain of birthing queens

moss: used in nest, but can also be used to bring water to queens and elders

deathberries: better know as nightshade it is one of the most poisoness herbs in the forest

mousebile: used to get rid of ticks

poppy seed: used to make a cat go to sleep

Thyme: used to calm a cat

wild garlic(used in into the wild) csn be used to make rat bites feel better

catmint: used to cure a cat of whitecough and green cough

water hemlock: is a deadly herb
thats all the herbs I can name off the top of my mind

[Rolo]

I'm afraid none of those alternative suffixes are on our list.

Take a look at this unofficial list Darkheart is fine, but you could make another up using a suitable one from here:

Cloudie's Suffix list

[dusk]

i want a name that describes her icy personality like ice as a suffix, but storm works as well, but heart is used way to much so is fur and pelt, and I'm changing her personality to all out grumpy, because I realized that I have nice, and kind then icy personality. Can I tell you suffixs I've used some of them are a little of there though.

[Rolo]

I'm afraid that only the suffixes on that thread I gave you are accepted here.

In the case of Ice, we don't allow suffixes with negative connotations. The warrior, no matter how unlikable they might be, must always be named for their strengths and positive strengths

I love the changes to the bio! She's a much more interesting cat now

So, Darkstorm is perhaps the name for her?

By the way, when you decide on the name, the staff have decided to give you the ranking So she'll shortly be accepted, congratulations.

Also, why not make a thread on New Members to introduce yourself ? I'm pretty sure members here would like to get to know the player of the new Med cat apprentice XD Or come introduce yourself in the c-box.

[dusk]

okay finished