Contemplations. [SootxJaeger] (private)

[Glowy]

Ah, solitude. It was a blessing without disguise. As much as he enjoyed the company of his clanmates (all right, a select few of them... well, really, just one of them), it truly was refreshing to be by oneself every once in a blue moon. Virgil... for all his amiable qualities, Virgil could get a bit overbearing at times with the company he chose to associate with. He was undoubtedly the more social of the two of them, and much more disposed to tolerate the lowborn felines that occupied this neck of the woods. At times it physically afflicted Sootnose to see his nearest and dearest of friends consorting with such base companions. His head would begin to throb and he would all but lose his breakfast. Or he would just end up coughing up a hairball. One of the two options. Either way, it was undesirable at the least. Sootnose had managed to get out of the clutches of Virgil for the morning, loathe as he was to part from him. He might meet that... Toni again, or somebody worse, without careful observation. Not only was there that aspect of it, but Sootnose always began to miss his friend when they were parted for very long. It couldn't be helped, so it would seem. Curses, he should have brought Virgil with him! Then he wouldn't be afflicted so with thoughts of his friend when he was supposed to be relaxing. Yeah, fantastic move, Everett. Way to be smart. Ah well. Sootnose shook his pelt and stretched, setting his jaw stubbornly. He was supposed to be out here hunting for his clan, not lolloping about like a useless rag, feeling sorry for himself for missing his friend. He had work to do. The autumn (yes, autumn, not 'leaf-fall' as these dull clanners called the season) breeze buffeted his ears and tickled his nose with the sharp scents of the coming winter. He couldn't detect the scent of a prey-animal anywhere. That was strange. StreamClan did not possess the most plentiful territory around, but a soul could usually sniff out a rodent or two in most places within their borders. The lack of prey-scent stopped him in his tracks, and he narrowed his eyes suspiciously. Even if there was a stronger smell about, he should be able to detect the smell of food underneath it. He hadn't tracked that accursed lowlife for weeks across untamed wilderness because he'd asked directions, blast it all! All he could do was walk on, he supposed. He would find prey-animals soon enough. For now, he should relish his solitude, his blessing that needed no disguise, and be grateful that he'd managed to escape the tedious company of his clanmates. speaking

[Pyro]

There were, it would seem, only so many imperfections in relation to her own clan that Jaegerstar could stand in one day before she had to retreat to quiet isolation. She had tried many places: her den, Storkflower's...that tall tree toward the center of the territory had worked for a while before her warriors had learned of it...yes, no matter were she went they and their problems always seemed to find her. Which was why she was now sitting at a safe, but respectable distance from one of the territory's many streams. A sigh of aggravation-at herself- escaped from her lips. The she-cat had finally risen to the highest honor: the position of leader, and yet it seemed she would never be ready. That was completely unacceptable, of course. She had quite expected her clanmates to come to her first in all things, but it was one thing to expect it and another to deal with it. She was, for all intents and purposes, marshal, judge, and jury, and the number of problems which were tallied throughout the day never ceased to amaze her. It seemed as though a day could not be considered normal unless the prey was not running, an apprentice screwed up, and the border was being infiltrated by the various vermin of the world. Jaegerstar had never had to deal with problems which were not her own, and everyday was a metaphorical repeat of the day she drowned. But she'd be damned if any of her warriors knew that. It was important to stay calm and collected at all times in which one is in the public eye. And she was confident that in time she would not only get used to, but beat into submission the stress that plagued her. To do anything different would be to strive for less than perfection, yet another thing which was unacceptable. The leader inhaled deeply, holding the breath for a few seconds before exhaling it and her stress. She could do this. Hell, she had nine lives to do this. No one else in the clan could do it better. Why else would Cloudstar have picked her? Well, he wouln't have not picked her, because she was, of course, the best cat for the job in all aspects big and small. She inhaled again, ready to continue the calming exercise, but the inhalation brought a familiar scent to her. It was one of her clanmates, Sootnose, if she was correct. How odd though, that she did not scent Owlheart with him. No matter. Rather than be caught unawares, she stood and made her way toward him. "Sootnose." she said, as a way of greeting. "Is all well?" [bg=969797][atrb=width,469,true] [atrb=border,0,true]

[Glowy]

Sootnose took a deep breath and smiled contentedly. Yes, this truly was what he'd been looking for today. The clean, damp scents of his territory washed over the roof of his mouth and the sounds played with his ears. There was the light trickling sound of the nearby brook, the sound of the breeze as it grazed across land and water alike, only interrupted in its path by a few trees, reeds, and other plants. He let himself sink into the world, concentrating only on the sights, sounds, and smells around him. What was going on inside himself was of little concern. His thoughts, worries, feelings of pride and prejudice, everything melted when he became The Tracker. Even the passage of time lost its significance. It kept him sane when nothing else would. By the grace of whatever was up there, it was but a few heartbeats before he detected prey-scent. Somewhere nearby there was a red-breasted robin hopping about, probably searching for insects in the dirt or trying to find bits of moss to bring back to its nest. If robins did that sort of thing, now should be about the time of year to start making improvements to their bundles of twigs and whatever else they made their homes out of, to prepare for winter. Pack a little more insulation in the holes, make the walls higher... but this one wouldn't get that far, oh no. No, he was hunting for his clan, the mewling dullards that most of them were. Nobody could accuse him of the truth, that he was out here to escape from them for the time being and only meant to do that, when he came back with prey to stuff their bellies! Yes sir, Sootnose was being useful. Sometimes he did wonder why he and Virgil couldn't just move on from StreamClan. Everybody was so common here, and their manners so crude! He longed for refinement and company that was closer to his own status. He could not leave, though, no matter how fervently he wished it. To leave would be a double betrayal of honor. The Warrior Code, which he respected so much, knit him to his clanmates, for better or for worse, and to leave them would be denying the honor of the Code. Plus there was the matter of his own scruples to consider. When Sootnose made a promise, he kept it. To shame himself doubly for the sake of cats so far below his own rank would be unforgivable. It would not happen. The robin, as Sootnose had predicted, stood no chance against The Tracker. Its feeble attempt to escape had been too little, and much too late. The frantic flutter of wings meant nothing to Sootnose- he simply jumped into the air and the bird was his. A self-satisfied smile touched his lips as he landed, but vanished only heartbeats later as a bush began to rattle. Who was there? The scent of bird-blood overwhelmed him; he could not tell if it was friend or foe! For the sake of his safety, he had to find out, and soon! He dropped the bird unceremoniously to the ground and spat to the other side, trying to clean the smell from his mouth. Ahh, that was better! Luckily for his dignity, he scented Jaegerstar heartbeats before she appeared. Unluckily for his dignity, she did not appear from the bush. That infernal racket must have been caused by some accursed rodent. "Jaegerstar," he responded to her greeting in kind, but not before dipping his head first. Before him stood one of the only cats in his entire clan that he could tolerate for more than half a patrol without wishing he could remove their tongues to prevent them from speaking further stupidity. Yes, Jaegerstar was blessed with attributes that not only kept her from gaining Sootnose's derision, but that gained her his respect. She was lucky to possess greater understanding of social graces than many StreamClanners, and that made her valuable as a plump partridge in the dead of winter. "All is quite well here. I have simply been hunting, as you can see." He swept his paw to the side, indicating his catch. "Might I inquire as to your well-being as well?" Simple courtesy, that was all it was, he told himself. He would not have the courage to ask about the well-being of somebody he barely knew if it was not required of him by grace. Still, it was strange to see Jaegerstar out here by herself. Should a leader not be tending to her people? speaking

[Pyro]

Sootnose's obeisance was always a treat in itself. She was not blind to his interactions with others of their clan, and while slightly concerned at how he had not integrated himself completely into clanlife (preferring Owlheart's company to most other's), she was nevertheless pleased with his seemingly boundless courtesies. Here was a cat who understood maintaining control over one's self and having a certain cordiality in conversation was necessary if not undeniably proper. But of course, as courtesy deigned it, he had to ask her how she was. Should she lie? Tell him that all was well? Or should she lower that first barrier between a leader and her follower and tell him all that ailed her? Maintain dignity or honor? Honor or dignity? Truly, what would she be without her dignity...the thing which kept her back straight as she sat, her head high at a meeting, her eyes cold in a scolding. And yet she knew better than to keep everything bottled up. That would lead to a most unladylike meltdown, and then where would she be? Without both dignity AND honor. She could not lie. And yet she could not tell him the full truth of things. The full truth being that the mantle of leader was heavier than she had expected. "The streams are freezing. Our clan is small, that cannot be denied, and others no doubt look upon it with a scorn and contempt that they would not dare show to my face. I am as well as is to be expected." All this was uttered without an ounce of self-pity or concern, as if she were merely relating a well-known fact--which, technically, it was. Their clan was the smallest, and by default their weakness in leafbare was reason enough for the other clans to write them off as a non-threat. Speaking [bg=969797][atrb=width,469,true] [atrb=border,0,true]

[Glowy]

Sootnose nodded gravely. Jaegerstar's concerns were justified, very justified indeed. She should worry about the size of StreamClan. After all, it was only natural to want a strong clan, especially with Leaf-Bare looming its ugly head over the forest. Perhaps they would be able to use their smaller size to their advantage, however. Prey was scarce during the winter months, and having fewer mouths to feed could mean that every cat got more to eat. Being scorned for their size was a very serious matter as well, but if it meant that every member of the clan got to eat on every snowy, frigid day while some members of other clans had to go without food, then Pine, Fog, and Meadow could take their scorn and eat it! Heh. Eat it. That was one of the wittiest things that Sootnose had thought in a while. Yes, that did make him a sad, sad cat. No, he did not care. His fleeting moments of comedy were enough for him. He was raised to be a gentleman, not a comedian. "I see," he murmured, nodding again just for good measure. "Would you care to come along? Hunting does wonders when it comes to alleviating stress. I would be honored if you would join me." The corner of his mouth lifted up in what could possibly be a smile, but as Sootnose rarely smiled, that would be difficult to tell. It must have been a smile, if he was any judge of it, because of the foreign feeling the expression brought to him, almost as if it did not belong. "For the record, being the smallest clan may not be the worse fate in the upcoming months. We have fewer mouths to feed than all the other clans, and it will be considerably easier for us to feed every member of our clan. Unless scorn can fill the bellies of Fog, Meadow, and Pine, I'm inclined to say that we have an advantage." Perhaps that would help reassure their young leader. It certainly put his mind at rest, not that he particularly cared about the judgment of the other clans. Let them pass their silly judgments. Sootnose knew for a fact that nobody took as much consideration into their judgments as he did. His good opinion, once lost, was lost forever, but he took an extreme amount of care in allowing his poor opinions to be formed. He did look down upon many cats, but that was entirely different from losing his good opinion. When that happened, there was no hope, while there was always the chance of a lowborn, sorely lacking in honor and grace, to elevate themselves. He hoped that his clanmates knew the difference. speaking

[Pyro]

"It would be an honor in of itself to accompany you." She stood, walking away with the assumption that Sootnose would follow. He would of course know that as leader, she could not consent to allowing someone else to take the reins, if even for a moment. If she did, she might as well let any old mousebrain who passed by take her duties for a day. She listened quietly as Sootnose recanted the benefits to having a small clan-she did agree that their size might serve them well in times when food was scarce for larger clans...although the same could not be said for their defense in the the event of an attack. "I would that some of our younger generation shared your insight." The compliment was said in Jaegerstar's usual manner of speech: that soft way in which she would say something as though it were obvious and as such required little of her attention. He should have an apprentice. Ah, but he did, didn't he? She herself gave him one. "How fares Sparrowpaw's training?" And even as she asked about Sparrowpaw's training she recalled her own to aid her in the search for prey. She scented the air, moving quietly along and searching for that delightful smell that would reveal the location of a prey animal. It would be base of her to return empty pawed to the camp. Speaking [bg=969797][atrb=width,469,true] [atrb=border,0,true]

[Glowy]

Sootnose dipped his head in acknowledgement and waited for her to take the lead. Despite the fact that she was younger than he, she was his leader, and she deserved his submission in all things. "I was hoping you would say that," he mewed in response to her compliment. It was so nice to feel appreciated. Virgil certainly never complimented him on his manners- often tried to "cure" him of them, in fact. Here was Jaegerstar, though, telling him that it would be an honor to accompany him. It was because of his superior behavior, he was certain. She would patrol with other members of her clan, but would it be an honor to do so? He doubted it. He very seriously doubted it. His heart swelled with the compliment. It had been so long since anybody had paid him any sort of compliment that this one... well, I dare say that it touched him. It was always nice to know when somebody thought highly of you. Ah, and his insight! This simply kept getting better and better. Sootnose allowed himself a smile, then. It did not seem particularly out of place. "Thank you, Jaegerstar. I, too, wish this at times. But it is nice to be able to teach. After all, it is not so very special to be wise if all those around you are. They will gain insight, though, fear not. I do have high hopes for the younger generation, especially my own Sparrowpaw." It was then that Sootnose realized he was beginning to ramble and cut himself off. They were hunting. They were not socializing. "Her training goes well. I hope to inspire in her the same respect for the Code that I have, and to teach her the importance of promises. It seems to be less common for anybody to keep their commitments these days. If I can help change that, if only in one life, then I have made a difference." Ah, but now Jaegerstar was opening her mouth to scent. He should do the same. Becoming The Tracker freed him in many ways. He should like to share that with somebody other than Virgil. speaking

[Pyro]

A faint smell carried Jaegerstar deeper into the territory- it wasn't stale, but the animal was not close. She suspected it was a rabbit, one that had perhaps taken flight whilst she and Sootnose had talked. No matter, it wouldn't be out of her reach for long, and if it crossed a border...well she'd just have to kill one of its fellows then. As she followed its trail she kept one ear cocked for Sootnose's replies, listening to them with some impatience. She found it hard to tolerate rambling, as prone to it as she was herself. And if he hoped for her to praise him further for doing what he was supposed to, he had another thing coming. Yes, it was comforting to know that somebody respected her leadership enough to toe the line and do as expected, but again, it was what was expected. Anything less was worthy of reprimand, anything more of grudging compliment, something which cats like Bignose had yet to learn. It was as though they doubted she would kick them to the curb if they continued to try her patience. Streamclan might need its warriors, but she would sacrifice size for obedience if need be. "The older generation will gain it indeed." The scent of the rabbit was stronger now, and Jaegerstar slowed her pace to a crawl accordingly, avoiding streamlets where she may. She could see it just ahead, nibbling on what greens it could find, happily unaware that the danger it had escaped before was upon it once again. It struck her as slightly odd that it had wandered into the marshy territory her clan called home, but she did not dwell on that for long. If it wanted to invade, then it would pay the price. The Streamclan leader sprung forward, her small form covering the muddy ground with an ease that only a Streamclan cat could have. The rabbit, a creature of solid ground, found itself bogged down slightly by the terrain and was slowed as a result; too slowed to make an escape. "I believe it is your turn, Sootnose. But first, I am curious-" she turned to face him, licking the blood from her muzzle and trying to regain some semblance of order about her person. "What gives you hope for the younger generation, when it is the older which will mentor it?" Speaking [bg=969797][atrb=width,469,true] [atrb=border,0,true]

[Glowy]

Sootnose felt acutely awkward speaking in such a familiar manner with his Leader, now that the situation had absorbed itself into his mind. He was on a hunt with Jaegerstar, they were having a conversation, and though it did not have the same air of familiarity about it as, say, a conversation with Virgil, it was the most personal talk he'd ever had with a clanmate. Was it proper to speak to one's Leader in such a friendly fashion? Would his mother, his father, approve of his speaking about his apprentice and his feelings about his clanmates? Was it incongruous with the laws of propriety, or would it rather be rude to make the conversation less personal since it had already progressed to this level? Virgil would tell him that he was being ridiculous. He would say that this was barely anything, that he was overreacting, giving too much significance to such a "normal" interaction. However, for Sootnose, it was anything but normal to speak like this with anybody other than Virgil. It felt foreign, almost taboo. The required element of respect for his Leader only added to the awkwardness and his uncertainty. Good heavens, was he truly this socially pathetic? His mother would have a fit! Still, it was a conundrum. He needed to make a decision, and soon, because Jaegerstar would not be tracking that rabbit for much longer. When she spoke, he made up his mind. She appeared to have no qualms about this, nor any concerns about a lack of propriety (which, perhaps, was merely imagined and an excuse used to get out of talking to his clanmates), so he should dismiss his. He could not, after all, blatantly refuse to speak to his Leader. He considered for a moment before making his reply, his brows drawing together in thought. "Well, I should think that the young are more receptive to the wisdom of their elders than the elders are to the wisdom to be gained from one another. A Warrior tends to be less inclined to learn a lesson from his or her mistakes, whereas an Apprentice makes a habit of it." He licked his lips, taking the opportunity to take a quick scent for any sign of prey-animals. There were some birds a way off. They should do nicely after he'd finished rationalizing his thoughts. "A Warrior wants to teach, not learn. I have more hope for those willing to learn than I do for those entrenched in their ways." Of course, there were those rare few, such as himself, who needed no change whatsoever. Jaegerstar fell into this category as well, he thought, after a moment's cogitation. Oh, that was not to say that Sootnose did not have his faults. He fully recognized them, but they were justified, and his recognition only made him a better, more mature cat than those who refused at all to acknowledge that they had problems. Ah, but none of that mattered at the moment. None of it mattered because he slipped out of that plane of reality and into his own, private one, where he was The Tracker. He let the sounds and smells of his forest home overwhelm him, take control of him, and guide him. His awareness was heightened so that he could practically feel the texture of each pebble underpaw, hear the songs that the breeze sang over the marshes and in the trees, and smelled the different layers of material that made up his home. That stork from the marshes took off in flight, likely holding some disgusting slimy creature in its beak, but Sootnose did not turn to watch its gangly legs disappear into the sky. Oh, no, he was a tom on a mission. A lone waxwing alighted on a branch, sang its song, then hopped to another branch slightly higher in the tree. Sootnose watched its movements attentively. Perhaps it would decide that the ground would suit its needs better (he did not much feel like climbing a tree and causing the bird to take to the sky), but a few heartbeats later the bird answered some unheard call and flew away. Sootnose let out a low, slow breath in frustration, but did not move from his spot where he crouched, muscles tensed, ready to spring at the first reasonable thing that moved. A squirrel started, alerted to his presence, and it tried scrambling up a tree trunk, but Sootnose leaped a few times (the tree was a bit far off, you see) and scraped it off the trunk with a practiced swipe of his forepaw. Its impact impact with the ground killed it instantly, snapping its neck. speaking

[Pyro]

'Can't teach an old dog new tricks' as the saying went. But her older generation was...was...They were thieves. Vagabonds, rebels. Dusktorm could star her straight in the face and smile, knowing what she'd done to Streamclan with her disgraceful actions...what she'd done to Jeagerstar's integrity. How could the younger generation learn to be proper, honorable cats of distinction with the ones training it...the whole matter made her want to tear out her fur. And yet Sootnose seemed to have some sort of confidence in his fellows, despite none of them sharing his distinct demeanor and class. The grace with which he tracked was somewhat tarnished by the violence with which he killed his prey, she observed, but then killing was an ugly thing. It could make lumbering savages out of the best of dancers, monsters out of the most divine. She suspected she had looked just as ah...disagreeable...when she'd killed her rabbit. Disgusting little vermin...To think that such a lowly thing could make her look less the Lady she was...it soured her thoughts. It made her brood. Which was most unbecoming of a cat of her stature. What could she do to make her clanmates more obedient? More respectful? Under Cloudstar they'd been laid-back yes, tolerant of smudges and tarnish...but never thieves and hotheads. A devilish twinge of doubt entered her mind, and she found herself thinking that perhaps she was the reason they were acting so out of turn. There must be something wrong with her. She was too lax perhaps, not yet worthy of their respect. Hmph. She was worthy of it alright; they were just too blind to see it. No, it couldn't be her. It had to be something else. "All must learn. Old and new." she said when Everett rejoined her. "It might be more difficult, but there is no reason a warrior cannot learn the same lessons that an apprentice does. Or re-learn them, rather." Namely the lessons of respect and where the hell the boundaries of their territory were. Because they were not halfway into Pineclan. The corner they'd pushed her into. It was either tell Gingerstar she had nothing to do with the affair and be seen as a weak leader with no control over her followers...or assume the identity of a leader whose warriors would break the code for. She had to be seen as strong. It was a blow to her honor to be known as a thief and an upstart...but it would have been an even bigger blow to be known as a failure. She could not. Be. A. Failure. Not now, not ever. "Speaking" [bg=969797][atrb=width,469,true] [atrb=border,0,true]

[Glowy]

Sootnose sighed. She had misunderstood him quite impressively. He had no faith in the mentoring abilities of his comrades. Honestly, he and Virgil were the only decent warriors that Jaegerstar could claim, in his eyes. This was brought to light by the recent... escapade that some of his denmates had gotten into. Oh, and they'd taken his apprentice along for the ride! How his anger burned towards them... words could not describe. She thought that cats such as these would be receptive to the lessons of an apprentice? How incredibly idealistic. Somebody must have taken the lens she saw the world through and replaced the clear glass with glass the color of rose petals. He had seen far too much of the world to believe such things anymore. As much as he tried not to judge, he honestly could not help himself sometimes. Lessons like the ones taught by Lobo and John-Morgan could not be unlearned overnight, or in a fortnight, or ever. It was possible to rise above such behavior, but once one sank to that level, it was impossible to rise up again. Until he was proven wrong, that was what he would believe. His clanmates, respected warriors governed by the Code, had begun to travel down the path of Lobo and John-Morgan. Had he the ability, Sootnose could have wept. "Ideally, yes. They should be able to re-learn the lessons taught to each Apprentice, and they must. Whether they will or not is an entirely different matter. I have no faith in their ability to learn," he said, voice tainted by darkness and anger. "They took my apprentice with them, Jaegerstar. They seek to poison the younger generation with their schemes and lies and base behavior. No. No, I have no hope for 'warriors'," ghe spat the word out, "such as these. I hope in the young ones because they are all I have left to hope in. I hope that they can glean the good lessons from their elders- for everybody has one or two of those, no matter how they act- and reject the distasteful." John-Morgan's false children had been able to learn a new way to live. They had been receptive, some of them, to the instruction of The Lawman and The Hound. John-Morgan had been an entirely different matter. They had been forced to... well... it had not quite gone as planned, that particular incident. Should have gone off without a 'hitch,' as Virgil would call it. Sootnose had nightmares about that, sometimes. He shook his head. "Tell me, do you honestly believe that they are able to learn? You believe they will change? If you have had a different experience with situations like this, please, let me know, because my experience leads me to believe that it is impossible. I do not desire to be too swift to judge, but I have nothing but negativity to base my view on. Negativity and nightmares." His voice trailed off, along with his vision. His time with Virgil had taught him many things indeed. Oh, how he wished for his friend right now. They needed to address... but it was impossible. They were here to hide from it, after all. At least, Sootnose was hiding. He knew not why his friend had come. Perhaps for the same reason. Oh, memories. speaking

[Pyro]

"Ideally nothing." The leader's eyes grew hard, cold. She could not be stuck with such base, honor-less, garbage, and she would not accept that their disdainful state could not be changed. Sootnose assumed that there was room for his clanmates to fail. That they had a choice in the matter. "They will learn," she said quietly, They will learn, and they will fall to, or they will find that they can no longer call my clan their home." Base and foolish disorder would not be her legacy. The very idea of it made her skin crawl and her tail twitch. Streamclan had gotten much too used to living along guidelines rather than set-in-stone rules. That would change. There was no question of 'whether or not they would obey'. No. They would obey or they would leave. There was no room in Jaegerstar's eyes for anything that disrupted the well-oiled machine that would be her clan. It might take moons, seasons, years even to get things to an acceptable level of functioning perfection, but they would get there. Ideally. Ideally. The very word screamed failure and trite hope. There was nothing trite or 'hopeful' about what she expected. Things would meet her expectations or there would be consequences. That was that. However, as little as she thought of her clanmates' actions, it could not be denied that they stole with a mind to better their clan. Theft was just...the worst possible way they could go about doing it...But at least it showed that they would be willing to change the way they did things for the good of Streamclan. She would just have to show them the proper way to handle such matters. "You are right. There is hope for the younger generation. But I will not allow the older generation to skate by. Things will change, Sootnose, and I find it disconcerting that you believe so vehemently otherwise." the she-cat took a breath to calm herself. It simply wouldn't do for her to become an ill-spoken, heavy-breathing mess. "They have done a grievous blow to Streamclan's honor, this is true. But they did so thinking that it would help. They are willing to break a code that has stood for years as a pillar of dignity and order for the clans so that their own clan may progress. It is right to look at their deed with condemnation. But it is also right to look at the deed as...promising. They have the drive to create change. To change. They merely lack the refinement to use...proper ways of creating that change. I will refine them, Sootnose, and that is that. And-" Oh. Oh her mother would see her as soft for saying such a thing, naive even, but..."And...yes....Yes it must be said that they have only stolen once. It is a gateway for further crime...but it is no..." It hurt to think of things in a different light than the the one she had already placed them in. "It does not necessarily mean that such actions will continue." She was already confident that her clanmates could meet her expectations. She must also be confident that they were not...mindless, stagnant beings incapable of learning from their mistakes. And perhaps things were not quite so bad as her mind was making them. It was one act. One act committed by only a few-not all- of her clanmates. Yes, they had drug an apprentice into the mess, but...But the actions of the few did not define the population. She had never thought so little of her clan when she was a warrior. If she had, she would not have consented to lead them. Jaegerstar realized with a start that she might have been making too much of things. That, however, did not change her stance on the matter of further disobedience: If they didn't respect her position enough to obey her, enough not to shame her before her fellow leaders...then they could leave. "Now, as for my experiences in such matters..." she recalled how easily her old gang had risen up against her under the banner of her brother. They had hated her leadership. Hated her mother...The tabby grew hot with a mixture of feelings: guilt, hate, shame. How could she have forgotten her past so easily? Clearly she had done something wrong in those days...and as history was bound to repeat itself until one learned from their actions..."Suffice to say I have tried and...and failed." Loathsome, disgusting word, "I will not do so again." She would get things right this time. Speaking [bg=969797][atrb=width,469,true] [atrb=border,0,true]

[Glowy]

Heaven and earth, was this she-cat ever opinionated! "Ideally nothing." Pah! Who was being idealistic here? He could think of one such soul here, and it lived inside of a grey tabby body with incredibly striking green eyes. To think that she was his leader. If he allowed it, it could almost make him sick. Then again, he had been much the same what seemed like an age ago. Yes. Yes, an age ago in a different world, he and Virgil had been very much the same. Young. Untested. Still willing to look at things with a measure of leniency. Virgil, miraculously, seemed to have retained some of his capacity for that. Sootnose, however... his good opinion, once lost, was nigh lost forever. The consequences of that could be quite dire, as evidenced by the fate of John-Morgan. Every once in a while, on a bad night, Sootnose would look back upon the time when he was Everett, The Hound, and the fate that had befallen John-Morgan. The only cat he had ever witnessed dying. The only one his and Virgil's suspects who had died. All the other had simply left. John-Morgan, though, had been a different case altogether. His death might even have been prevented if not for their pursuit, in the name of justice and rightness. What did that make Everett? What did that make Virgil? Sootnose was glad for his new identity at those times. Everett was stained. Everett had been dipped in a sanguine pool and left to shiver in the cold night air. It was his utmost concern to ensure that the same fate did not befall Sootnose. Perhaps Jaegerstar was right. Perhaps there was hope for his clanmates, even if he could not see it. "They will learn, and they will fall to, or they will find that they can no longer call my clan their home." His eyes flashed up, briefly, to meet hers. (He had kept his gaze low both out of deference to her and affliction of conscience). In that moment, he almost felt that they were floating on the same current of thought. Yes. Yes, he approved, though he was reserving judgment. Here was a strong-willed, conscionable leader whom he could follow and respect, whose judgment he felt he could mostly rely on. Mostly. Naturally, there would be circumstances where his judgment could be more valid than hers, due to his experience. His conscience... could it truly be placed above honor, in those cases? It was a topic he would need to wrestle with his his mind. Ah, but wait! Was she beginning to falter? Her speech was growing more halting. She was repeating words. This was most unusual. Was she trying to convince herself of the truthfulness of her own words? Was that what he was witnessing, or was he making too much of an unusual change in her speech pattern? She had regained her resolve quickly enough, it seemed. How very intriguing, though. "Of course you will not fail. Any member of this clan who does not respect your authority and character is a fool, if you were to ask me my opinion on the matter. I am willing," he swallowed and shut his eyes, acutely aware of the gravity of what he was about to say, "To deviate to your judgment in this matter, out of respect for your position. Also out of a recognition of my own faults. Though I try not to, I sometimes allow myself to develop unjust opinions of others with little pertinent foundation. Surely you can imagine, given my history with Owlheart. Therefore, I have resolved to suspend my own judgment and back you tirelessly. If ever you should need my aid, I will not hesitate to provide it."He hoped that she recognized the significance of all he had just said. For him to be willing to suspend his own judgment and nearly abandon all his scruples to back a she-cat whom he barely knew was unthinkable. At least, it was unthinkable to Everett. Perhaps that was why Sotnose had done it. speaking