Open eyes and blinded hearts (open!)

[Cloudbat]

Boredom sunk its claws into the weary apprentice as he stumbled across the forest, trying to track the faint scent and tracks of a mouse.

He hadn’t eaten in three days, thanks to the shortage of prey. StarClan, he thought dully. All for StarClan. His stomach had stopped aching, but his mind was foggy and his limbs almost shook with tiredness.

The brown tabby only kept going because if he didn’t have something to bring back to the fresh-kill pile, Volepelt or a Council member would surely punish him. Even his own mentor would probably have little sympathy.

A small flare of anger rose in him, but he quashed it. It wasn’t their fault. It was his. He was an apprentice, so he was gone from the purity of ignorance but hadn’t achieved the level of faith and skill needed to be one of StarClan’s blessed warriors.

If he didn’t believe this, all was lost. Right. Right? Falconpaw was too tired to even question it. If he had been thinking more clearly, he might have thought bitterly that that was one of the points of starving them, to stop them from having the energy to doubt. A good idea…

Heavy pawstep after heavy pawstep until he couldn’t move anymore, and flopped down on the grassy floor with a sigh. Let StarClan punish him. He needed to rest.

[Pyro]

Though it was newleaf, FogClan still needed as many cats as possible to be bringing in prey. There was still a shortage, and unfortunately prey was coming back too slowly to make much of a difference yet. As a council member, Reedfoot's meals were almost assured. She was among the pure elite, and thus one the most deserving of a meal. But even she was starting to feel the pinch. However, it was in such tough times that true characters began to come out, and she couldn't be more proud of her apprentice. He had not complained once about Volepelt's new regime and he had taken his lack of food like a warrior. The eyes of StarClan most assuredly looked upon this apprentice kindly. Rowanheart's apprentice could learn a thing or two from Falconpaw...but it was highly unlikely that she would ever see the wisdom in such action. Reedfoot casted about with her nose, scenting for prey. A look of surprise flashed across her face as, instead of prey-scent, she caught a whiff of Falconpaw. The she-cat smiled. Of course he'd be out. He was always out of camp, hunting. It was very rare that he did not return with something, a feat that some warriors had yet to accomplish in wake of Volepelt's rules. She made her way toward him, hoping to catch him in action; if only so that she would have something good to report to Volepelt, and shock covered her face again as she found him. He wasn't hunting at all. He was...He was resting. And there was no freshkill to be found to warrant such an act. "Falconpaw! I sincerely hope you have a good reason for being idle while there are still kits to be fed. I would have expected something like this from Otterclaw, but certainly not you." Speaking [bg=babc9e][atrb=width,467,true] [atrb=border,0,true]

[Cloudbat]

His heavy eyes struggled open to see his displeased mentor looking down at him sternly.

"I....don't, Reedfoot." He admitted, sighing. "Just....so tired. Want...to please StarClan, but so...tired. Sorry..."

He struggled to his paws, his normally proud shoulders lowered in fatigue, his fur dull. The apprentice smelled defeat, and knew it to be his own. How shameful! How failing of him!

"I...should be punished. Could you...help me?" He looked up at her hopefully, a spark of hope entering his glazed eyes. Maybe punishment would give him back some of his old energy to serve his ancestors.

Pain, only pain would set him on the path of righteousness again. He lowered his head, waiting for Reedfoot to strike him.

OOC: I know this is kinda short, but Falcon's short on energy, so. xD He's not doing much.

[ambird]

[bg=252620][atrb=border,0,true][atrb=width,500,true] Cranetail swallowed hard, watching the younger cat be in so much pain because of the shortage. He was questioning his Clan loyalty. They were all becoming ignorant badger-dung, letting cats wear away at themselves just because of StarClan. In his mind-set, their ancestor's didn't want them all to die just in crazed worship over their passed loved ones. If he spoke any of this out loud, however, he'd be clawed till his flank bled. Or demoted. So, like others in his Clan, Cranetail grinned and bared it. After so long...maybe Volepelt would meet his demise by his old age and his mind slowly rotting. He shivered at the thought of what the Clan would be without a cruel dictator. It would be chaos. Their Clan was so corrupt that some new fox-breathed cat would come up and be the new one. He drooped his ears. All those moons ago he thought FogClan would be a good fit....and look at where it had gone to. Knowing that if he didn't do something, he'd be questioned. And then punished. With a heavy sigh, he breathed in to try to detect if any creature was out there. Nothing. A day old squirrel scent. Could it lead to something? He didn't care at this point, looking productive was his best bet. Who knew what would happen if he was a warrior and wasn't following the stupid rules the StarClan obsessed Clan-mate of his would do if he didn't. What made his heart lurch was the fact almost the entire Clan knew about his issues about his time as an apprentice. It had been horrid...and had made him into the self-centered cat he was. FogClan didn't allow that kind of thinking, so he didn't know who he was anymore. Not Cranepaw, and the old Cranetail was starting to slowly die inside him. Not just one of the Council Members he knew would love to demote him. It would be the utmost shame, in FogClan terms. But his entire psyche would be once again crushed. He found the end of the trail to the squirrel. Another, fresher scent was close to this one. Possibly the same squirrel! He followed, creeping up slowly, hoping he could at least be an asset for whoever in the name of StarClan would even be able to eat this squirrel. Oooh! He knew, sacrifice it to StarClan! Because their dead ancestors can obviously eat the decaying animal. It wouldn't be long before that happened.

[Pyro]

Reedfoot fought the warm heat of anger that was building in her mind. Rage!Reedfoot was reserved for Otterclaw's level of sin, no one else's. Besides, Falconpaw was still so young, with so much promise. he needed a mother's touch more than anything else, and momma cat would certainly oblige him. Tired. Tired. As if such a lazy excuse would be acceptable to any sensible cat in FogClan. "I...should be punished. Could you...help me?" Well. At the very least he was more willing to come to terms with his actions than most and this brought a small smile to her face. She'd expect nothing less of a council member's apprentice. his words also confirmed that all he really needed was a gentle guiding paw. Falconpaw didn't need any major reconstruction like Frostpaw; his paws were still headed in the right direction, they had merely slipped off the path a little. Reedfoot, of course, was happy to set them right back on it. She nodded, accepting his request. "The fact that you recognize your wrong and are willing to accept the consequences means that you are already on the way to your sin. However, I will take you the rest of the way." Her paw flashed out striking him down his shoulder. The sinwound was less than another cat might have given him, but in Reedfoot's eyes it was enough. Pain, certainly, was good in its own way for cleansing sins, but preventing further transgressions was an art, of sorts. A cat, taken to the maximum, she believed, for one sin, would be more likely to commit another because there was no greater punishment that could be exacted on them. Better to have the threat of something worse than to exhaust the final punishment in one go. In any case, she wanted to make sure Falconpaw would be able to remedy his sin while it was still fresh in his mind. As she bent down to clean her paw--Reedfoot would not stand to be seen dirty in any way, shape, or fashion-- she thought of the best way to do this. Certainly, she could send him off on his own and watch his actions unseen...but it had been a while since they had last trained. It struck her that her neglect, though not intentional, might have been the root cause of Falconpaw's slight stray from the righteous path to StarClan. Yes, a training session, in hunting of course, would do him good. "Falconpaw, it has come to my attention that perhaps, I have not been doing right by you, and I intend us both to learn from this sin. We will turn this solo hunt of your's into a training session, as I suspect you are past due." Reedfoot flicked her ears at the sound of another cat's approach. She inhaled deeply, taking in the cat's scent-Cranetail, and narrowed her eyes. She hoped he had not born witness to her apprentice's sin. If anyone was going to report the matter to Volepelt, it would be her. "Cranetail, dear, why don't you join us on our hunt? We can turn it into a patrol and perhaps have better success with more eyes and noses on the look out. I'm sure Falconpaw could benefit from seeing the hunting style of another warrior besides his mentor, as well." Speaking [bg=babc9e][atrb=width,467,true] [atrb=border,0,true]

[Cloudbat]

Falconpaw winced at the pain, but felt a sense of relief as he uttered a whimper of distress, a creepy smile expanding over his broad, striped face. It was the smile of one who only wished to follow the leader, any leader, whether through heaven or hell simply to obey and be pure. It was the smile of one who had doubts, but let the certainty of others become his personality.

Reedfoot had been merciful. He felt better, purged. "Thank you..." he murmured. "I am still wretched and weak, but I will do my best to serve StarClan...and you. StarClan will probably have me fail in my hunt...but learning is good, yes..."

He looked up blearily to see a white tom approaching. Cranetail...what was he doing here? But it didn't really matter...and Reedfoot was right, two teachers were better than one. He thanked his ancestors for this good luck.

[ambird]

[bg=252620][atrb=border,0,true][atrb=width,500,true] "Cranetail, dear, why don't you join us on our hunt? We can turn it into a patrol and perhaps have better success with more eyes and noses on the look out. I'm sure Falconpaw could benefit from seeing the hunting style of another warrior besides his mentor, as well." he looked up from where he positioned himself, a few fox-tails away. He had expected some sort of comment from her, but not this one.

[/b]

"Oh, sure Reedfoot." he nodded to her. If he just acted like nothing was amiss, he could surely withstand whatever nightmare was about to begin. Or, that's what he told himself. Cranetail thought back to earlier as a warrior. Had he been good at faking whenever things went completely cracked up? He couldn't remember. Either way, he'd need to act like everything was perfectly fine. Who knew how long that would last.

He silently prayed to Starclan. No, not how his slightly crazed Clan was portraying them. The good, old one. The Starclan that the other Clan's, minus Pineclan, of course, believed in. Somehow the real Starclan couldn't let this corruption spread. Or...could they? His brother always doubted their existence, and there was no way to be sure. Wait...what was he saying? Well, if he had to choose non-believing over insanity, he would.

Shaking these thoughts away, he finished his prayer. Regardless if you guys are up there, we need help. The forest is being tainted by the belief of apprentices being no better than badger dung. Your whole set-up of the Clan's is falling apart, thread by thread, if you guys don't do something soon....I fear for every Clan. Not only FogClan. Not sure if you can hear me at this point, but we need you. A message...anything. Back to faking it for the sake of his sanity.

"So, Reedfoot, what do you suggest to do next?" he asked. No matter if it was new or old Fogclan, the mentor(and, she was now technically a council member as well) of the apprentice always had the say in where they went. At least something hadn't changed. Change. It had been good in Forestclan, starting new had made them thrive. But this? Sometimes he wished that he had decided to go along with Loonstep. Deeper down he knew he wanted Fogclan to be saved from this...this monstrosity of a hierarchy. But he knew no way out of it.
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[Pyro]

Reedfoot smiled and her chest swelled with pride as her apprentice stood up. That was the Falconpaw she was used to seeing, although he was still a little dozy. Always willing to improve, always looking for the next thing he could do to serve StarClan. What she wouldn't give for her brother to take a leaf from his book. Maybe then he'd be a true warrior, not a lazy piece of foxdung. Now what to do about the hunting lesson. It was no good staying-the prey in the immediate area had probably fled already. They'd just have to track down some more. That'd give her a good opportunity to see how Falconpaw's tracking skills were developing. With any luck they'd all catch something and everything that happened previously would be remedied. Reedfoot motioned for Falconpaw to lead them and for Cranetail to follow behind. Her apprentice would be first to go after prey, of course. It was vital that he do his duty as an apprentice and bring food back for kits and elders. "Alright Falconpaw. I'll let you walk in front so as to best monitor what you currently know. Cranetail, I want you to follow behind and see what you can pick up on." Speaking [bg=babc9e][atrb=width,467,true] [atrb=border,0,true]

[/center]

[Cloudbat]

Admiration was written on the apprentice's blunt features of his mentor and her wisdom. He winced at the pain in his shoulder but felt his old sharp awareness trickling back as he stretched out, loosening up his stocky build for a hunt. His mind was still bleary, but Falconpaw automatically opened his mouth to scent the air, breathing in and out deeply, letting himself become as aware as possible. No...there was no fresh scent. So where was the most likely place nearby that prey would be?

He looked around with tired amber eyes and spotted a mossy old fallen tree trunk nearby that smelled old and partially burnt, and it had many holes in it and rocks beside it. It would be an ideal hiding place for any small prey. Indeed, when he strained his short ears he was almost certain he could hear tiny scufflings and squeakings from the inside.

He knew his back legs were his greatest strength, and his mind wasn't very clear, even with his purging, so the best course of action would be to go up, wait, and pounce with one burst of energy rather than exhausting himself with tracking and crouching, neither of which he was particularly good at, especially half-starved.

So he padded over as softly as he could, small points of light passing over his dark brown fur as he walked under the dense canopy toward his target. Blearily, he looked back toward his mentor and gestured to it with its paw, signaling that he would jump when he saw prey.

He crouched by the end of the log, his fur blending in almost perfectly with its aged wood, every sense alert as possible for some hint of food - and redemption.

[ambird]

[bg=252620][atrb=border,0,true][atrb=width,500,true] "Alright Falconpaw. I'll let you walk in front so as to best monitor what you currently know. Cranetail, I want you to follow behind and see what you can pick up on." he nodded to her. Inwardly he sighed. Thank Starclan! He could at least get a bit of a break from crazed Reedfoot. Or, that was the plan. He shuddered at what he had just seen. Falconpaw was willing to be hurt that badly in the name of Starclan. Well, either way he would have been forced into a punishment. But what freaked him was that he was fine with it and even had anticipated it. Most apprentices at least yowled in discontent. Had he even flinched? This truly showed how warped things were with his Clan. There were what, maybe four or five cats that didn't think this was right and actually retaliated? He shook his head, temporarily clearing his head so he could at least attempt to do what Reedfoot had advised him to do. As Falconpaw crept up by the mossy fallen tree, Cranetail realized what he was going to do. Straining his ears he heard small pitter-patters of footsteps. Falconpaw was one smart cat. Too bad he wouldn't be given the right encouragement. Cats would only be glad of food, not that an apprentice was growing to become a great warrior. Slowly, he padded behind another tree, following close behind. He'd do exactly what Reedfoot said to do. Follow from behind and observe. Cranetail peered over to Falconpaw, and saw the flickers of light pass through his fur. He couldn't see his face, but he assumed by how determined his stance was, Falconpaw was ready to prove he wasn't just a worthless apprentice. That whole psyche was rotten to the core. Apprentices were growing warriors, and every member of a Clan was respected. Or, they were supposed to be. Fogclan was twisted... it had been corrupted, and that had spread to every kit, queen and warrior in the Clan. Cranetail truly wondered what would become of the Clan...and how much he could really put up with before he was going to want to claw off some cat's face? What he really needed was to vent. But to who? No one in the Clan, that was sure. Regardless of what they thought about the tyranny, none would get what he was saying. He needed his brother. Loonstep. He didn't care if sneaking out of the territory and meeting a cat from another Cllan was against the Warrior Code. At this point...what was the Code to his Clan? They hated that it was being broken by the other Clan's, but they were spitting on it as well. Simply by treating cats like dung...torturing cats....the list went on.

[Pyro]

Reedfoot followed silently behind her apprentice, close enough to see his actions, but not close enough to be a hindrance when it came time to stalk whatever he had found. As Falconpaw gestured toward a fallen log she crouched lower, motioning for Cranetail to stop. She could already scent the prey hidden within, and too many cats crowding around it would not be the ideal course of action. She watched the apprentice move forward, inch by inch, until at last he was waiting, very near the log, for any signs of movement. The minutes ticked by and Reedfoot made a note to praise Falconpaw later on for his patience. That was one of the key elements of hunting: patience. Without it a cat would pounce too soon and scare off anything worth catching. Without patience, a sinner could not find redemption and a pure cat could not help them. It took more than a few scratches to convert a cat or save them from falling off the path to righteousness. This was something that some council members did not even understand...Thrushflower in particular had yet to grasp the finer points of conversion. And most of her attempts had been looked upon by Reedfoot with quiet disdain. The she-cat was prone to bouts of rage. Unseemly bouts. And of course, Reedfoot was well aware what Thrushflower thought of her heritage, for all she had gone through the same thing...But that was neither here nor there. With a shake of her head, she returned her thoughts to Falconpaw. Silently, she urged him on. It seemed as though a creature of some sort, mouse perhaps by the scent, was about to chance an appearance. This was his chance to remedy his mistake and to grow as an apprentice. The experience would do him good, and she had no doubt that he would soon see the value in perseverance when it came to such matters. "Easy now Falconpaw..." she said in a low whisper. "Watch and wait. Let the prey take the first action and thus make the first mistake." Speaking [bg=babc9e][atrb=width,467,true] [atrb=border,0,true]

[Cloudbat]

He was so focused on the log that he barely heard his mentor's words, what scant attention he could dredge up consumed by his will to hunt - and hopefully - eat. Though Falconpaw's mind might be slow, his senses were on high alert after the adrenaline from the pain.

The first mistake...it was his, as a shrew finally rustled out of the burrow and he swiped clumsily at it, but luckily it was confused and fled sideways, rather than back into its home, and he flung himself at it, his fangs catching in its segmented tail, but the rodent's momentum left him with only that as it (squeaking in pain and smelling of blood) fled under a bush.

He spat out the tail and sighed, though it was just as he'd expected. So close, and yet so far. StarClan was showing him that even though he might be trying, he could never be good enough as a weak, lowly apprentice. "I am sorry, Reedfoot." He mumbled, amber eyes downcast as he smelled the lingering scent of shrew and his own despair. "I am not worthy. My hunger and weakness is that of a putrid PineClanner and not of a blessed FogClanner. Do with me what you will."

He laid back down, his striped head bowed as he waited for more punishment, his scratched shoulder beating in time with his worthless heart.

[ambird]

[bg=252620][atrb=border,0,true][atrb=width,500,true] Cranetail sat anxiously, waiting to see how Falconpaw would attempt this. He bit his lip as the shrew went under into the bush, and saw the young apprentice's shoulders droop. Fox dung. Now Cranetail would have to endure yet another punishment, wouldn't he? He begged with everything he had in him for Reedfoot to take mercy and not go crazy with the whole 'apprentices are unworthy and this guy just proved it' thing. Didn't help that Falconpaw was willing. Or, did it? That would prove to her that he was willing to make up for his "horrid" mistake. "I am not worthy. My hunger and weakness is that of a putrid PineClanner and not of a blessed FogClanner. Do with me what you will." Cranetail hid back what contempt he had at this. Did the Clan really feel the need to despise Pineclan this much? Sure, they didn't believe. That didn't mean they came right from the Dark Forest. Besides, his brother was a Pineclanner. What, did that make Cranetail half putrid? Guess it did, considering how much the two Clan's hated one another. He tried not to curl his lip in distaste, but it just sort of happened. At least that Dark Forest worthy cat Thrushflower hated every cat not of pure blood. He knew where he stood with her. He hated her, but she didn't favor one Clan over another. Fogclan...they were tainted. With mouse-brained cats like her. Cranetail realized he was glaring at the ground, and immediately repositioned himself. Didn't need Reedfoot noticing his displeasure. Being punished for it didn't sound that fun right now. His heart was weak, wasn't it? Hating what was being done in his own Clan. And not doing squat about it. Cranetail truly hated the regime. But then he realized he couldn't do anything, could he? If he did something major he'd be demoted. Or if it was particularly bad, something to nearly kill him. Better than being forced to do believe and follow a crazed code and leader. Then why wouldn't he do anything? He supposed the first reason was because he had no idea if anyone else resisted. Frostpaw, but he didn't know her that well. Otterclaw. Reedfoot's own brother who she repeatedly tried to get to act more like her. Others? He wasn't sure. All he knew was that currently, they were insulting his brother and he wouldn't put up with it. He'd bid his time. A resistance. It sounded like the best option. If even possible.

[Pyro]

For a moment, Reedfoot's pride was doubled, as it had seemed as though Falconpaw had caught the mouse and thus redeemed himself. But that pride was short-lived. The mouse escaped, and her was Falconpaw again, in front of her, demanding the punishment he deserved. A swift, but controlled, cuff to the ear was her answer to his request. "A PineClanner? Do not say that. Do not ever say that." She drew herself up, viewing her apprentice through narrowed eyes. "You are a FogClanner, Falconpaw, a FogClanner. Nothing can change that, and so nothing will. You are but an apprentice and failure is to be expected." Her gaze flickered as pity entered her green eyes. "I fear my negligence in my duties as your mentor is even greater than I first feared. We will remedy this. Immediately." One more the prey of the area was silent, hidden away from their keen senses. It would be some time before it would dare to come out...but that could not be helped. And as it could not, learning by doing was out of the question. Now would be the perfect opportunity to review faith and hunting techniques, for many of the traits which aided an apprentice to become a superb hunter also aided them in the quest for purification of their soul. There were so many links between the two...perhaps Falconpaw would benefit from knowing them. "Your attempt at the mouse was admirable, but clumsy nonetheless. You must refine yourself." she paused, searching for the right words. How to begin the discussion? "How would you go about converting a nonbeliever?" [bg=babc9e][atrb=width,467,true] [atrb=border,0,true]

[Cloudbat]

It hurt. Oh, it hurt. But at the same time, it was a relief. But would she think the same of me, if she knew? He thought fearfully. If she knew that I don't believe as much as I should? No. What I think doesn't matter. What I do does.

Actions speak louder than words.

He looked up at her, hope shining in his eyes. "Truly, Reedfoot? Hope is not lost? I just...I just...I don't even know." He ended miserably, the energy from the pain fading and just leaving him with its merciless throb.

"I'm so scared, Reedfoot. All I've ever wanted is to be honorable...and I can't even do that, let alone serve StarClan's purposes. Can you forgive -"

But he stopped as she began to speak again, and his recently-cuffed ears perked...then drooped. How on earth could he answer such a question? How on earth should he? As much he disliked to do it, he silently agreed with Reedfoot. She had been lacking, or he would know the answer to this question, because his immediate response was that why would be bother?

"I...I do not know. How can you make a cat know such glory if they do not already realize it? If they cannot perceive the purity of power around them...how is one to fix that essential problem?" He mumbled, trying to keep his words distinct. It was a try.

He sighed, deeply, exhaling, letting a little pain escape. Rest. All he needed to do was rest. Just sleep and forget his woes. But rest was a trifle for a true champion of StarClan. A true believer would drink nothing but service and eat nothing but faith. Because of their devotion, they would be fed and energized.

The devotion he knew, in his heart of hearts, he lacked.