Post by Glowy on Aug 20, 2011 20:57:40 GMT -10
 Dovepaw had to be alone. She had to get away from everything for just a little while. Camp could just plain be oppressive at times. She had no idea what had set her off this time, but about mid-day, she'd just felt the most intense urge to take a walk by herself. Unforunately, she'd been in the middle of a task and those eyes had been watching her from everywhere. You couldn't escape from FogClan until everybody fell asleep. So there she was, pacing up and down the border in the cool night air, fully aware that if she got caught, she could be in for some serious punishment. She kept glancing over her shoulder. Even out here, in solitude, she wasn't completely at rest. Was there anywhere she could go where her soul would be quieted? The stars twinkled up above. Many souls in her clan would find comfort and solace in their winking light, but not her. She had never felt so far below anything in her entire life, or so far removed from any trace of hope. She would have a better chance of finding forgiveness in the deepest pit of eternal torture than she would from StarClan... or herself. Their standards were just too high. There could be no place for her within their beautiful celestial ranks. Her soul was too ugly, too marred by all the things she had done or had watched be done without acting out. StarClan wouldn't be able to fix her. So she sat there, staring up at the stars with her heart breaking beneath the weight of her own imperfections. She couldn't help but feel small and insignificant beneath their gaze. Sometimes being alone was the most oppressive thing of all, she realized with a racking sigh. Why couldn't she just sprout wings and fly away? It would make things so much easier to be able to rise above all the things that weighed her down. She could laugh and flap away, smiling in her victory. For a moment, she almost believed she could. With her heart beating faster, she glanced at her back, almost daring to hope that her wings had grown. She hadn't even gotten off the ground and still she felt the air rush out of her lungs as she fell back to earth. It was foolish to think that anybody who had done as much wrong as her would be allowed to forget it, to just fly away and pretend it had never happened. StarClan had taken away everybody important for a reason. She couldn't be trusted with anybody. Things always went wrong when she was involved. "Can you ever forgive somebody like me?"she whispered, voice shaking. Silence greeted her with a cold smile. speaking |